Things My Dog Has Eaten

I keep asking Dan/Daddy when "owning a dog"  is going to start being fun. 
I do love animals; I really do.  This animal, however, makes me tired.  My cat does not make me tired.  My dog makes me tired just watching her... not to mention taking care of her. 
I chase after her, I pick up after her, I feed her, I clean up her messes, and then I get happy when she takes a nap.  I didn't work this hard when the boy was a toddler.
I should also mention that the boy is the primary caretaker for this dog... I'm just on duty when he's at school.
My least favorite dog activity is taking stuff away from her.  I spend 99% of the day removing things from her mouth.  Non-food things.
These are the things my dog has eaten in the last few weeks:

1.  a Lincoln Log
2.  a snow globe Dan/Daddy brought me as a gift from Ireland
3.  2 cat toys
4.  another Lincoln Log
5.  2 lava rocks from the gas fireplace
6.  a wooden figurine of a wolf that the boy put together and painted
7.  a wooden figurine of an owl that the boy put together and painted
8.  a collectible sea turtle that I bought on vacation

We take her on looooong walks.  The boy plays (hard) with her... until they're both about to have heart attacks.  She gets plenty of exercise.
She has 284 doggie toys, chewing toys, and bones.  We swap them out and hide them and try to keep her mind busy.  She gets plenty of mental stimulation and chewing fun.
The house is - to the best of our ability - dog proofed.  We are not "knickknack" people.  We own 5 and she's eaten 4 of them.
If she weren't in her crate at night, she would have eaten us by now.

My dog, I'm convinced, exists only to drive me nuts. 
She doesn't have to drive far.

10 on Tuesday

Happy Tuesday, people.  Hop over to Roots and Rings for today's questions...

1. Who is your favorite talk show host?
Ellen Degeneres.

2. How do you style your hair on a daily basis?
Usually straight, au naturel.  I am trying to grow it out, and I'm amazed I've grown it out this far without strangling somebody.

3. If you were stuck in your bedroom for a week, what would you need in order to not go crazy?
Short hair again, my computer, the TV and the remote, unlimited cash for ordering food, lots of magazines, and my phone.

4. What are the best non-reality shows on television?
All I ever watch (besides reality TV) is Criminal Minds and the news.

5. Do you mow your own lawn and clean your own house?
Yes and yes.  It is the boy's job to do the lawn, but we always help out.  Now why doesn't anyone help me out with the housework?

6. As an adult, what is the best part of summer?
Air-conditioning, Happy Hour at Sonic, and NOT getting up to take the boy to school.

7. If you could ask one celebrity one question, who and what would you ask?
I would ask Oprah to give me some money.
Kidding.  Sort of.

8. Post a picture.

Have I mentioned the cat's been getting piggyback rides?


9. How many books do you read a year?
Never as many as I want to.  Umm... maybe 10?

10. Which national chain makes the best delivery pizza?
We go back and forth on this one, and we usually go with Pizza Hut (for the price) or Papa Johns (for the dipping sauces).

I Love Funny

So many funny little moments roll past me.  I always laugh and think,
"I need to write that down."
or...
"I should blog about that."
But then I forget.  Or I get distracted by all the not funny little moments.
I even used to scrapbook all the cute and amusing things that came out of the boy's mouth.  Then when I started blogging, the cute and amusing things he says became blog posts.
I wish I still had the energy/time/desire/urge to scrapbook again.
I wish I would take the time to have a blog book printed.
While I find my energy, time, desire, and urge again, here are some of his latest funnies...
before I forget.


While driving home from church a few weeks ago, we were listening to Michael Jackson.  I was singing along to Thriller, and I asked the boy,
"Does it embarrass you that your Momma knows all the words to Thriller?"
He said, "Nope... I think it's cool."
(Score: 1 for the boy.)

On a ridiculously hot day, I was wearing a tank top.  The kind of tank top I never wear alone... always under something else.  But, we were at home, and I was hot.
The boy asked,  "What kind of outfit is that?"
(Score: -1 for the boy.)

We were headed to school this morning and had to wait for a horse trailer to pull out in front of us.  The boy said,
"That horse trailer is full of cows.... and those cows are MOOOOOving."
Not laughing was not an option.  That kid cracks me up.
(Score: 1 for the comedian.)

I hope and pray your day is more funny than not funny.  I like funny so much better.

Berry Picking

The boy and I went strawberry eating (I mean, picking) Saturday.

At first he was a little hesitant about eating them from the field... There might be rules.  Or bugs.

After a little encouragement from his criminal mother, he was popping them in.

It was a beautiful day, even though getting up early on a Saturday is not something I enjoy.  I'm glad we did.

Pancakes and Proms

I aged about 10 years over the weekend, and it had nothing to do with my child.  For once.
On Facebook, I was able to see all the Prom pictures my friends were posting.  Prom pictures of THEIR kids. 
Let me say this another way...
People my age have children going to the Prom.
Lord, help me.
And them, too, Lord.

We did "wait" a few years before jumping into parenthood, so I could technically be the mom of a Senior.  Ugh.

The Prom pictures really got me, though.

Maybe it was because I could see in those sweet faces the faces of their moms and dads.... my childhood friends.  It was only yesterday we were all dressed up and headed to our Prom, right?

Maybe it was because here in our house, we just crossed into the Land of Teenagers.  (Sniff.)  I've had a rough time with the boy turning 13. All those pretty pictures were just one more reminder that my time is coming.

Maybe I'm just old and sentimental.

I was curled up on the couch with the boy Saturday night.  We had pancakes for dinner in front of the TV.  We watched our DVR'd episodes of "Swamp People."  I couldn't stop thinking about how few of those kinds of nights I have left before it's my turn to post the Prom pictures.

The pictures, the girls in beautiful dresses, the tuxedos, the flowers, the fancy dinners...

Maybe the boy and all his friends will come back to our house after the Prom. 
Maybe they will stay up and raid the pantry.
Maybe they will crash out on the floor.

One thing is for certain... I will make pancakes for all of them the next morning.

If I Lived Another's Life

Do you ever wonder what other people's lives are like? Not the celebrities or the rich and famous, but the regular folks.
I consider myself a regular folk, and some of the strangest things happen to me.
Some people say I'm just very observant. They say weird stuff happens to everyone else; I just notice it.
I have an eye for weirdness.
These are just some of my latest adventures:

1. I pulled into a parking space the other evening at the boy's karate school. The car beside me had some hair hanging in the backseat. Pieces and sections of hair... clipped to a pants hanger. After some checking around to my sources (my sis-in-law and brother) I was informed that this is how people who wear extensions keep them tidy. Hmmmm.
But why were they hanging in the car? Did the hair need to go for a drive?


2. The boy has a new hobby. He gives our cat piggyback rides. Last week, he came around the corner into the den with our cat on his back. He had her bottom on his shoulders, her back legs hanging around his neck, and he was holding her front paws like hands. I was laughing so hard I couldn't sit up. She was just sitting there... bug-eyed and riding along.
When he told me about how he struggled to get her up there, I laughed even harder.
The next morning, we were getting ready to head out the door, and the cat was meowing and meowing. I said, "What is that cat's problem?!?"
He said (dead serious), "She probably wants another piggyback ride."


3. Snoop Dog was at our Chick Fil-A. We tend to visit Chick Fil-A at least once a week... after soccer practice. The last time we were in there, so was Snoop Dog. Well, I'm sure it wasn't the real Snoop Dog, but it looked just like him. I texted my friend, J, to tell her and this was our text conversation:
J:   Take a picture.
Me:  There is no way I can possibly sneak a photo. He'll see me.
J:  LOL. I am at a Holy Week service.
Me:   Now I feel like a heathen. You are at a Holy Week service, and I am at Chick Fil-A with Snoop Dog.

So then I consulted with my other 2 sources (my sis-in-law and brother) to tell them about Snoop Dog.
Me:   I am at Chick Fil-A with Snoop Dog.
My Brother:   Fo Shizzle?
Me:   Word.

I will work on getting a picture of the piggyback riding cat, and the next time I see Snoop Dog eating at Chick Fil-A, I will ask for his autograph.

My Adorable Juvenile Delinquent... What Would You Do?

A few weeks ago, the boy was "arrested" in the middle of a math test.

There had been some sort of a fight at his school, and one of the culprits "escaped." (The culprit didn't leave school; he just didn't get caught by a teacher.) We will call him Suspect #1.

Suspect #1 was wearing a brown shirt that day... and so was MY son.
See where this story is going?

The School Security Officer (who wears a uniform and carries a gun and a taser) and a teacher who'd seen the fight came looking for Suspect #1.
They came into my son's math class, looked around the room, and pointed at my son. The officer motioned for him to get up and walk over.
The boy (my son), bless his heart, thought the officer was talking to someone else, so he started looking around. That's when the officer mouthed the word, "You," and pointed again.

The boy said when the whole class realized WHO the officer was talking to, there was an audible gasp throughout the room... including his teacher.

You see, the boy NEVER gets in trouble at school. Never. I'm not sharing this to brag on my child... I can do that anytime. I am sharing this to explain why everyone in the room was shocked. The boy is the kind of student that helps teachers, tutors other students, makes the honor role, and gets nominated for citizenship awards. He's NOT the kind of kid who gets into fights in the hallway.

So when the officer and the other teacher led him out into the hallway, he was totally confused. The officer asked,
"Were you involved in an altercation after 2nd Period?"

"No," said the boy.

The other teacher said, "That's him! That's him! He had on a brown shirt and he took off running!"

Again the officer asked, "Was it you that got into a fight and then ran?"

Again the boy said, "No. It wasn't me."

Once again, the other teacher said she was certain it was him.
After a few minutes of talking, the officer told the accusing teacher he believed my child. The officer realized they had the wrong kid.
They let him go back to class, and they continued their search for brown shirt Suspect #1.

The boy said when he got back into class, the room erupted with questions and noise... including the teacher. No one could believe what had happened, and they were amazed the boy was even considered a suspect. They all got a big laugh, and they finished their test.

When he got in the car that afternoon, the boy told me all about it. He was still amused, and he really didn't seem bothered by it at all.
I asked him if either the officer or the accusing teacher came back to apologize to him.
"No. They didn't," he told me.

Now here is my dilemma.
I would have appreciated an apology to my child for the case of mistaken identity.
Is that too much to ask?
Am I being unreasonable?

Part of me wanted to march into the school and demand an apology. (I know some of you would have fired the principal by now. Or egged the officer's car.)
I definitely do not want to embarrass my son. I also know how teachers feel about parents who "fight their kid's battles for them."
Actually, I know how I feel about people fighting their kid's battles for them.

I want the boy to know that sometimes in life, people make mistakes. They may even accuse you of something you didn't do.
I want him to know that people often don't apologize... even grown-ups. Even if they should.
I want him to be able to do what he did. To stand up and speak the truth... even if he's scared.
I also want him to know we are here to support him, and I know he knows that.
How would you feel if it were your child?
What would you do?