How NOT to Start Your Holiday Season

Washing machine...



+
Laundry detergent...



+

1 Cel Phone... tucked away in the pocket of the jeans you want to go on your trip...




=
A trip to this place... Just hours before you should be leaving for the Thanksgiving holiday...




In case you were wondering:

1. Cel phones are not washable.

2. No. It wasn't time for the upgrade.

3. Yes. I did have the insurance. (Please, this is ME we're talking about here.)

4. I realized it when I opened the lid to take the clothes and toss them in the dryer.

5. No, I didn't put it in the dryer.

6. I am beginning to laugh about it now. 6 days later. Beginning.

Merry Thanks-Scarecrow-Turkey-Mas

I totally made that up, but I think it fits.

You see, there is a scarecrow sticking from a hay bale on my front porch. There's a pretty Fall-ish wreath on the door. There's a puknin out there too.

The Christmas CDs are out. The candles on the table are orange. There are some festive gourds in the fruit basket.

Giant Rubbermaid tubs sit half-opened by the garage door.

Thanksgiving is still 3 days away.

I haven't packed a single thing.

And the Christmas tree is up.

I'm having some holiday confusion and anxiety.

I always feel sad that our Christmas decorations go up, and then we go a-traveling. And I don't get to see them very much. So this year, the tree went up early.

I'm trying to convince the boy that we need to wait to put out EVERYTHING else.

'Cause when you go out of town for Thanksgiving and you are the owners of a particularly bad-mannered and devious cat... well...

Let's just say the wise men and nutcrackers deserve better.

She's already yanked some poor little snowman off the tree 895,629 times. By his raggedy little scarf. And the tree's only been up 48 hours.

Here's hoping your turkey fixins are ready and that you bought enough food.

I was at The Mart this morning, and it wasn't pretty.

God bless us, every one. Especially snowman ornaments.

In the Elementary School 'Hood

We ran some errands after school today.

A haircut for the boy.

A caffeine shot for me.

A stop at the post office.

The. Longest. Lines. Ever. (Not just today. Every day.)


One post office on base + a zillion people mailing packages to a zillion deployed soldiers + renovation and construction at said post office = HEADACHE.

Anywho... while we were there, we saw a teacher from the boy's school. She needed help with a HUGE box because she's pregnant. I lifted her box for her, and trust me. She would have popped that baby out right there if she'd lifted it.

So when we get back in the car, 57 hours later, I say to the boy,

"I didn't know Ms. Teacher was pregnant."

He says, "I did."

I say, "How did you know?"

He says, "My friend told me. She knew. She probably heard it from so-and-so who told it to so-and-so."

I say (laughing), "Ya'll are nosy." (Which is SO true of my son.)

He says, "That's the way 4th Graders roll."

Word to my home dog 9 and 10 year-olds.

Our Veteran

I have to confess that I used to think all veterans were old men. Old men who wore 3-piece suits and stood up in church to be recognized on certain Sundays of the year.

Boy oh boy, was I wrong. And naive. And we'll just chalk it up to my young age.

Now I know the truth.

And now... I'm married to one!

But...
I know veterans who aren't even 25 yet.

I know girl veterans.

Single veterans.

Veterans with degrees and veterans fresh out of high school.

Veterans with one "tour" and veterans with too many to list.


I know families who wish they had a veteran to honor this week.

I hope that we all would take more than a day to honor those who served. And those who are still serving.

PS... Yep. That's my skinny minny husband on the left up there. Gheez. I told him he wasn't allowed to come home weighing less than me.

Don't fret peoples... he will gain it ALL back. He always does. Two or three trips to Red Robin and Outback and he'll be back to his old self.

I even hesitated in posting this picture for fear of what his mother and grandmothers and aunts will say to me when they see it... "That poor little skinny thing!" ... "He's just wasting away!" ... "If he were here we could fatten him up!" ... "The Army should feed them better!"

If you ask me, I think if he's gonna be flying around in that tiny helicopter and standing on that narrow mountain... he's better off skinny.

One Week and 5 Days of Us

Merciful heavens. It has been awhile, people.

I am not about to make any excuse for my blogging lapse.

So here's a recap. In no order whatsoever. With no purpose or deep-seated meaning at all. Purely random. Like me.

1. Halloween was a sugar-infused blast of a good time. My mom and dad came up for the weekend, and I know they left tired. The boy went as a Dementor. "What's that?" you say. It happens to be an evil creature from "Harry Potter." It will chill the air around you as it sucks your soul from your body. Just precious for a chaplain's (ex-preacher's) son, don't 'ya think? So cute without the hood, too.





(By the way, I know that my husband is STILL a preacher. I just get a kick out of saying "ex-preacher.")

2. We went to Disney in Ice. Yep, Disney on Ice. Not at all related to Halloween, but equally as fun. There was a special event here for the children with deployed parents. The arena was FULL. The show was great. I sang along like nobody's business, Loud and proud... much to the dismay of some lady in front of me. I am a human catalog of memorized Disney songs, and I didn't disappoint.

The snow cone and cotton candy were $87.68, but the tickets were free. And did you know that Donald Duck can drive a Zamboni?





3. We have begun the process of getting braces on the boy's teeth. Therefore, no one is getting Christmas presents. Good grief. Have you priced a mouth full of hardware lately? It pains me, and it's paining our savings account.

4. I made a fool of myself at the McDonald's drive-in. What is it with me and fast-food drive-ins lately? Maybe it's God telling me to eat healthier. I misread a sign that named the winner of a contest. It said that Mary D. and Tom S. won $10,000. I thought it said that Mary D. Won and Tom S. Won won $10,000. See my mistake? I thought they both had the same last name... the last name "Won." They were both very non-Won looking. I had to laugh at myself. I was also wearing my sparkly witch hat at the time. I think that distracted everyone from my stupidity.

5. We have passed the 6 month mark in Dan's Army "vacation." It is a bit hard for me to fathom that 6 months have gone by since we saw him. Since he was home. Some days it feels so easy and manageable. Other days, it doesn't. I could go on and on and on. I could whine about being a single mother or being lonely or trying to make sure my son's ok... but I shouldn't. I know lots of single moms who get through life's challenges every day. I know that people can be lonely with a house full of family. And my son? He's doing great. We lean on each other and he's learning that God is the one seeing us through. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

6. I am enjoying the cool weather.

7. I want to kiss the person who invented "Fall Back." Seriously. Well... hug them. I just can't be kissing random people with my husband gone and all this swine flu going around.

8. I hate making holiday travel plans. It's that time of year again when I obsess over whether or not everyone is happy with the arrangements. I know, I know. It's not something to obsess over. But, it is what I do best. Besides feel guilty.

9. Bought myself a new American flag and a cool solar light to illuminate it at night. Ain't I patriotic?

10. I had a girls' night out while my parents were here to play with the boy. Some pals and I went to a yummy Italian place. We all ate steak. My good friend told our server to bring on the bread, meat and wine. A great meal and a good time.

Happy November, folks.