You Can Call Me Grace

Remember the death flops?
I still have them, and I still wear them.
But they are apparently not my issue.

I am sitting sideways in my chair as I type this.
Not sideways as in "turned to the right or left."
Sideways as in "balancing on one booty cheek."

Last night, I fell down our steps. Good times.
I was walking downstairs to get a glass of ice water from the kitchen, because I don't like to drink water from the bathroom. The boy and Dan/Daddy swear bathroom water is God's finest form of hydration. They are weird.
I, however, prefer mine with ice and from the Britta. Call me high-maintenance.

About 5 steps from the landing, my feet slipped out from under me, and I landed hard on my hind end and bounced the rest of the way down. I somehow also managed to drag my right arm along on the carpet underneath myself.

The sound of me crashing was loud; the not-very-nice word I said was loud, too.
Dan/Daddy and the boy came running.
One of them hovered over me, waiting for my writhing and moaning to stop.
The other one laughed until I thought he'd pee his pants.
I'll let you guess which one was which.

I think the culprit was the socks I was wearing. I just slipped.
Dan/Daddy made a new household rule for me right then and there.

"You must go barefoot in this house. If you are going to wear socks in this house, you must have on shoes. Or else stay upstairs. And always hold the rail."
He really is trying.
But because I cannot live upstairs forever, I will run around in socks when he isn't here. Or when he isn't looking.

So today I have a bruise and a rug burn on my right arm.
I also have a bruise on my tailbone (I looked).
And, I have to sit sideways.

I'm walking like a 99 year-old woman. Or a 39 year-old woman who fell down her stairs.
Do you want to know why I had socks on in August? Why I am covering my feet when it's 100 degrees outside?
I have dry cracked heels. Gross. I am forever trying to soften them and make them more presentable. I had just coated them in lotion and Vaseline and put on socks to seal in the moisture.
And obviously create an health hazard in the process.

Hmmmm.... Soft heels or a broken tailbone?
So here I sit... sideways.

But I have really soft heels today.

Just Funny...

... if you know me and my history of grace.

That's grace in the physical sense.

The other night, a few of my friends and I had dinner together. With the kids. Minus the husbands. There's were at a training. Mine is well... you know...

Anyway, I broke my sweet little friend's plate. I didn't mean to; I only dropped it a few inches to the table. But, unfortunately, it was just the right angle to break it.

I was so sad!

But, one of my other friends looked down under the table to see what shoes I had on! I had to laugh! She was checking to see if the flip flops had come out of hiding. HA! I was not wearing the death flops! (I did have on some cute shoes though.)

Apparently, the flops are not just dangerous to me.

They are a curse to all those who come near them!

Water-Logged

Took another break from unpacking this past weekend.

The boy and I were invited to go along with our buddies to the Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC. Wowza! Did we have fun!

But - alas - the camera batteries are dead. That means no uploading pictures until they charge.

I will post them as soon as I can, but I will leave you with the tiniest highlight of the trip... I fell.

Again.

Wearing the death flops, as I now lovingly call them.

It was awesome.

There will be no pictures of that, though. Everyone was too busy helping me up or laughing (thanks, son) to take a photo. Be grateful for small blessings.

These Flip Flops Were Made for Fallin'

Seems that a few folks I've talked to are concerned about the "spill" I took on Monday.

In the middle of the parking lot.

Of a store that's usually VERY crowded.

The good Lord was looking out for me because I didn't really hurt anything, and I was able to spring gracefully to my feet with anyone seeing me. (I think.)

I told my friend that I had a feeling it was gonna be like a minor car accident. It would hurt the next day.

Well. It did.

And the next night, too. My whole left side felt like... well... like I'd fallen in the parking lot.

Sore left booty cheek. (I know. Too much information.)

In case you were thinking that I'm just a klutz... I am. But, it was probably the sturdy shoes I was sportin' that day.

Flip flops.

Gotta love 'em.

Warning: What you are about to see may offend some of you. There are those among us that will now be convinced that this preacher's-chaplain's wife is headed straight to H_E_C_K.
In giving you a look at the flops, you will - inevitably - get a glimpse of the ink. My apologies to those who are ashamed of me. Yes, my momma did raise me better. (But, I love it! Wink, wink.)



See them? The flip flops? I got them at Old Navy a zillion years ago... I think when Old Navy was called Young Navy. See how worn down and thin they are? See the green paint from a furniture redo project? See how much my feet love them? Please do not feel sorry for them. There are other, newer, and much jazzier flops in my closet, but these guys are my favorites.

I'm convinced that moving.. not my choice in footwear... is hazardous to my health. The last time I was days away from a move, I dropped my sewing machine on my foot.

And I was wearing the very same flip flops that day, too.

Confused Trees and My Head Hurts

It is unseasonably warm here.

UnSEASONably. Do not make me remind you, oh weather, that you are a bit "outta line." I love your warm sunshiny days, but could we have eased into it a little slower? Maybe not jumped from 30 to 75 degrees SO quickly.

You see, when you change so fast and so soon (it ain't even Valentine's Day, yet)... you confuse the plants. The little trees and bushes think it's time to start growing again. And that, oh weather, involves POLLEN.

Pollen... the dreaded enemy of this Claritin-poppin', inhaler-suckin' family.

Did I mention that I have a headache? That's lasted for about 64 hours now? I think it's the premature pollen. It could be whiplash from the weather change. It could be the dust in my house. It could be the long break between American Idol episodes.

I am not complaining too loudly, though. The flip-flops made a brief appearance yesterday. They were so happy to be out of their little basket.

Now I need a pedicure.

Random Thoughts

It seems like my head is full of these lately. There is no rhyme or reason to anything going on in my noggin... There is no way to "connect" these ideas or even to see how they all make sense. Part of it is just me and my lunatic self in preparation for a move. I don't know why, but I have this idea that "blogging" will make me feel better. Sort of like an new-fashioned diary. Or like talking to someone without actually burdening them with listening to me. So, here they are (my random thoughts) for anyone who might be interested.
1. I was so sad to hear about the tragic death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter. My heart hurts for them and their son, who was the one driving the car. Wow. If you're like me, it feels like you know them. I've listened to his music since high school, and I've followed the stories of his daughters' adoptions. It just makes me sad.
2. My little nephew is feeling bad. He hasn't been himself for a few days now, and I just talked to his mommy. The sweetie woke up when I was on the phone with her, and I could hear him crying. It could be reflux, but they just aren't sure. I want him to feel better. And, I know that would make his parents feel better, too.
3. The boy brought home a TON of stuff from school today... "End-of-Year Cleaning" is what they call it. I am surrounded (already) by piles of stuff that I don't know what to do with. Now, I have more piles. That's OK, though. I still remember what it's like to teach and how good it feels to purge the classroom of all that stuff. Especially because in your heart you know that you are about to purge the classroom of all those little people!
4. I dropped my sewing machine on my foot today. The top part... where the bone rises up. If you are a sewing person, you know how heavy those things are. If you aren't a sewing person, take my word for it... they are heavy. I was attempting to put it up on a shelf (over my head) so the movers could pack it with other sewing-type objects. To put it in simple terms, it HURT. I have a huge bruise and a gigantic knot. Dan says, "It's broken." I say, "I can still walk on it, and I cannot move across the country with a cast." I cried because it probably won't work again (the machine). I cried because I am now trying to get ready for the packers while limping. I cried because I don't know what I was thinking... they were gonna pack that sewing machine with some random items from the garage and a few Legos from Eli's room, and a shoe... not with the sewing things.
5. I didn't eat lunch today... I had a Cappuccino Blast from Baskin Robbins. I deserved it after dropping a sewing machine on my foot.
6. The RIGHT "David" actually won "American Idol" last night. Praise the Lord. Little David was cute and can definitely sing, but big David is the BEST! We (me and the boy) whooped and hollered like a bunch of fools when his name was announced. It's been a bright spot in my day. Is that so sad?
Well there they are... my random thoughts at this moment. And, if anyone wants an update, the mystery hives are gone. Life.