Things My Dog Has Eaten

I keep asking Dan/Daddy when "owning a dog"  is going to start being fun. 
I do love animals; I really do.  This animal, however, makes me tired.  My cat does not make me tired.  My dog makes me tired just watching her... not to mention taking care of her. 
I chase after her, I pick up after her, I feed her, I clean up her messes, and then I get happy when she takes a nap.  I didn't work this hard when the boy was a toddler.
I should also mention that the boy is the primary caretaker for this dog... I'm just on duty when he's at school.
My least favorite dog activity is taking stuff away from her.  I spend 99% of the day removing things from her mouth.  Non-food things.
These are the things my dog has eaten in the last few weeks:

1.  a Lincoln Log
2.  a snow globe Dan/Daddy brought me as a gift from Ireland
3.  2 cat toys
4.  another Lincoln Log
5.  2 lava rocks from the gas fireplace
6.  a wooden figurine of a wolf that the boy put together and painted
7.  a wooden figurine of an owl that the boy put together and painted
8.  a collectible sea turtle that I bought on vacation

We take her on looooong walks.  The boy plays (hard) with her... until they're both about to have heart attacks.  She gets plenty of exercise.
She has 284 doggie toys, chewing toys, and bones.  We swap them out and hide them and try to keep her mind busy.  She gets plenty of mental stimulation and chewing fun.
The house is - to the best of our ability - dog proofed.  We are not "knickknack" people.  We own 5 and she's eaten 4 of them.
If she weren't in her crate at night, she would have eaten us by now.

My dog, I'm convinced, exists only to drive me nuts. 
She doesn't have to drive far.