Be Ready For Anything

The boy and I went to the pool with some pals this week.
He was swimming; I was chatting.
When I looked up, he was dragging himself out onto the side.  Pulling and hauling his whole body out of the water with only his arms and upper body strength.
So I asked him what he was doing.

"I am practicing pulling myself onto shore in case a Great White bites off my legs.
I want to make sure I can get out of the water with no legs."

The boy has this theory that every time we go on vacation, something happens to him.  He is partly correct... he had a string of incidents and trips to the ER for a few summers in a row.  I think he thinks he's cursed.

He is definitely a "planner."  He likes to know what is going to happen and he likes to be prepared.  It makes him feel like he has some control.  I can't fault him for that.... I know exactly how he feels.  And I think I know where he gets it from.

So now he's training for an attack by a Great White.

I told him if  a Great White eats my legs off, I will just throw the rest of myself to the shark.
I also told him he was smart to train, but a little bit paranoid.  It takes one to know one.
I told him I was impressed with his upper body strength.  I wouldn't be able to haul myself out of the water like that... legs or no legs.
And then I told him we may skip Shark Week this year.