When Good Grandmas Go Bad

We have a rare blessing. Dan/Daddy and I still have 3 grandmothers living. I have one, and he has two; so many people our age have none... we are blessed.

One of Dan/Daddy's grandmas is a bit more "feisty" (we'll say) than the other.
She cracks us up. We all call her "Nonie."
She has those skills that so many people of her age and generation have:
1. She will tell you EXACTLY what she's thinking. Even if the rest of the room would not say it. Even if it's unpleasant. Even if it might be embarrassing.

and

2. She likes to repeat things. I don't mean repeating in the sense of telling the same story twice. I mean repeating in the sense of saying something 3,956 times. Even if the rest of the room would not say it. Even if it's unpleasant. Even if it might be embarrassing.
Most folks refer to it as "beating a dead horse." (not a pretty word picture)

For example, one of the first times I met her, Dan/Daddy and I were dating. (He tells me I should have run then, but that's another story for another day.) His mom had made some BBQ for dinner. Her mom (Nonie) declared,
"Hey! This BBQ is hot!"
It was spicy BBQ, but she felt like it was too spicy. So she began to tell us.
Over and over and over and over.
"This BBQ is hot."
"This sure is some hot BBQ."
"This is the hottest BBQ I have ever eaten."
"You sure did make some hot BBQ, Honey."
"Wow! This is hot BBQ."
You get the picture.

The hot BBQ incident happened over 15 years ago, so you can imagine how Nonie has honed her dead horse beating skills.

The only thing that Nonie adores more than repeating things is her grandson... Dan/Daddy. She ADORES him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he did not, in fact, hang the moon.
Anywho....

Dan/Daddy had his back surgery last week, and in all the times Nonie's called to check on him, I have told her he's doing great. He is, really.
It is a very slow recovery, and he isn't a fan of slow recoveries. He's been a good patient, but he's not the most obedient patient. He wants to be back to his old self a little faster than the doctor will allow.
It's just best if Nonie knows he's recovering. It is best if she DOESN'T know he's pushing himself a bit too hard too soon.

Well. The boy (my boy) took matters into his own hands last weekend and called Nonie up.
To "rat out" his dad. To get the thrill of knowing she's gonna begin to beat that dead horse again. Except this time, the "dead horse" is his slow-moving daddy.

Within 2 seconds of the boy calling Dan/Daddy's Nonie, the phone beeped with a text.
From Dan/Daddy to the boy.
"I am going to kill you."

Apparently Nonie had called him.
To rant and rave and scold him for not taking it easy.
Let the dead horse beating commence!

The boy thinks it's hysterical. (It is.)
Dan/Daddy thinks it's annoying, yet sweet. (It is.)

I can honestly say that even 5 years from now, when he's running a 5K or jumping out of an airplane, she will still be telling him to sit down.
"Don't you need to take it easy, Honey?"
"You better rest a bit."
"Your back isn't what it used to be."
"You need to sit down and rest."
"You better rest and sit down."

And the boy will be rolling in the floor, holding his sides, and laughing his hiney off.

So will I.