I Hope I Can be His "Out"

Just this week, I was chatting with a friend about our boys. Hers is a year older than mine. He is quickly approaching that "land of in-between." That strange odd place where so much of what they say and do is still so "little boy." But, every now and then you catch a scary glimpse of the tween/teen years that are QUICKLY approaching. Mine is not far behind.

Please don't misunderstand me. I ain't rushing a thing here. I would keep him little forever if it were up to me. I am just coming to grips with the inevitable.

From the get-go, we have been the strict, un-cool parents. We make the boy drink milk (No!), we enforce an early bedtime (Gasp!), we VERY rarely let him attend events without us (Wow!), we don't let him see movies that we haven't pre-viewed (Boring!), and I still walk him to school... even though I could spit on the teachers' cars from my kitchen window. (Not that I would do that!)

Back to my friend's conversation...
Her son had been invited to a birthday party where the kids were gonna watch movies. Movies that their son may not have been allowed to see. When she explained her reasoning to her son, he was ok with it. He was ok with missing that part of the party. Then she said the thing that brought back a long-forgotten feeling. She said,

"I think he may have been a little relieved that I said he couldn't go."

Do you remember that feeling?
Was I the only child on the planet that ever felt that way?

You really weren't sure about going somewhere or doing something and a parent said "no," and a tiny wave of relief washed over you?

I am not talking about backing out of a commitment or not doing something required for school or church. School, homework, church, and family obligations... those were non-negotiable for us, and they are for the boy.

I am talking about those times when you were a teensy bit glad that mom or dad said "no." "Not this weekend." "We have plans." Or, "I don't feel comfortable with you going."

You had an "out," and your parents got the "blame."

"Sorry, my mom said I can't."

You kept your little secret and everyone else just thought you had impossible parents. And, that was ok with them.

Well, it is ok with me, too. If the boy ever needs an "excuse" to not be somewhere he isn't totally comfortable being... I'll be the "out."

I'll say "no" and smile and be the un-cool mom I was meant to be.