Happy Halloween!

Happy Candy Day from the Death Eater...
(How sweet.)



And the Pirates...



It may take us a while to come down off our sugar high. We should be ok by Thanksgiving.

Hope your Trick-or-Treating was a blast!

And It's Only 8:54

My morning started off with a bang.
You see, it's been a teensy bit warm here. Unseasonably warm, as the weather man says. Throw in humidity at 215%.
Guess what HOT, humid weather does to carved pumpkins?
They rot.
Quickly.
We had the "threat" of strong storms last night, so the boy felt it necessary to secure his pumpkin in the garage. So it didn't get blown over and smashed.

This morning, I had to get up extra early to take Dan/Daddy to his physical therapy appointment. Remember? Knee surgery.

Let me just assure you that the smell of rotting pumpkin in a closed up garage is not the thing you want to be smelling at 7:00 in the morning.
I managed to get it to the front porch before my hand went through the bottom of it. Good times.

I dropped Dan/Daddy off at therapy, came home and made the boy's lunch, and then enlisted his help in the Great Pumpkin Disposal of 2010.
You see, it's garbage day. And I had to beat the garbage truck.
(And we have a lot of pumpkins.)

So we held our breath, grabbed a trash bag, and pitched the rotten pumpkins.
And gagged the whole time. Then the boy laid down a toxic layer of Lysol. The garage was actually foggy.

I took the boy to school, picked up Dan/Daddy, made his breakfast, and then took him to work. Now I have to wash down the garage floor, go to another appointment, pick up Dan/Daddy, pick up the boy, take Dan/Daddy to a dentist appointment, and then take the boy to soccer.
Oh. And find something for Dan/Daddy and myself to wear to a costume party Friday night.
(Somebody needs to tell the man he just had surgery.)

I wanted us to go as pirates, but I think I will just go as a tired old woman. With stinky pumpkin guts on her hands. Who smells like Lysol.

Me and The Battery and 10 on Tuesday

I was just uploading some pictues from my camera. It made a little beep, and the screen went blue, and the message said,
"Battery is Exhausted"

Yep. Me too, Mr. Battery.

I was up at the unholy hour of 5:15 this morning to take Dan/Daddy for his 2nd knee surgery. Good times.
He's fine... it's an old injury that he's just now getting around to getting fixed. He's resting comfortably on the sofa now. High on Percocet and hugging a bucket. Too much information? Sorry. The anesthesia made him queasy.

Anywho....

Onto 10 on Tuesday!

1. What is your favorite decor item in your house?
The pictures. Specifically, the black and white ones.

2. What is your favorite hair product?
Right now, the flat iron. But I am a good ol' Southern Girl, and I do like some hairspray. Just not stiff and crunchy hair.

3. Are you a good dancer?
In my mind, yes. In reality, nope.

4. You get some good news, who’s the first person you call?
Depends on the news. Dan/Daddy usually. But he often finds my news trivial and a bit boring. Like, "Hobby Lobby has burlap half off today!" Then I call April or my mom or Jeanna or Shannon.

5. Would you rather take pictures, or be in pictures?
Take. I want to be a photographer when I grow up.

6. What is your shoe style?
Well considering how hot it is here again, it looks like I will be wearing flip flops until January. I hate having hot feet. I told my friend last week that I think my feet are menopausal. As a rule, I go for comfort.

7. How often do you eat out?
More than we should.

8. If someone has food in their teeth, do you tell them?
Yep. My girlfriends and I have a theory on this. We think women are better at this than men. Women will tell you the food is there, compliment your hair, pat your arm, and tell you about a great new reality show they just watched. Men don't even see the food.

9. Do you fold your underwear?
Nope. Pile it in the drawer. My momma's gonna die.

10. Milk, dark, or white chocolate?
All the above.

I'm off to medicate the patient!

A Pet Monkey Dream

We spent last weekend with my family, and all of a sudden, it's Thursday.
The past 4 days are a blur.
Maybe it was the amount of trash I consumed at the fair Saturday night.

The men-folk went to the farm to hunt, but all the hunting stopped on Saturday afternoon. So we could go to the fair.
Oh, yes. The fair. My family goes for one reason and one reason only.
To eat.
We let the young-uns ride a few rides and play a few games, but then we get down to business.
Eatin' business.

This year's trip involved:
sausage dogs
corn dogs
french fries
funnel cake
fried Snickers
lemonade
and...
cotton candy (which I continued to nibble on until yesterday... when sadly, the bag was empty)

I won't say who ate what.

We went with my parents, my brother and sis-in-law and nephew, and with some of my sis-in-law's family... who are like my family anyway. Eleven of us... eatin' our way through the fair.

Me, April (sis-in-law), and her sister...


And her sister's daughter (with my nephew)...


The boy and his stinkin' cute cousin...


Have you ever seen such adorable pre-teen metal-mouthed happiness?


To explain this last picture, you must know something about me.
I love monkeys. Think they are adorable. Don't tell me how nasty and vile they are. Don't tell me that they throw poo. Don't tell me how stinky or mean they are. I love monkeys.
And there was one at the fair.
He was dressed in tiny monkey clothes, and if you gave him a quarter, he put it in his pocket and tipped his tiny monkey hat. Lord, help me. If you gave him a dollar, he gave you a picture of himself and shook your hand. Mercy.
(Don't ask me how much money I spent at the monkey booth.)
I have no photos of the REAL monkey, because it was dark by the time we saw him. (Sniff, sniff.)
Earlier in the evening, before the monkey made his appearance, we stopped by his booth.
Again I remind you... I am a fan of monkeys.
When my mom was pregnant with my brother (I was 5, people.) I vividly remember telling her I wanted a baby brother or a baby monkey.

Well look. I got both.


Have you made a trip to the fair this year? Eat some fried grease and shake a monkey's hand. And think of me.

Farm Privileges

Because I grew up on a farm, I consider myself a lucky girl.
Because my dad still farms, I have one lucky kid.

He fishes, he hunts, he rambles around, and he lives the life of a wild boy when we go to visit.

And around Halloween time, he gets to decorate a big round hay bale.

With spray paint. He is livin' the 11 year-old dream...





Somebody please tell my smarty-pants brother that Jack-o-Lanterns are supposed to have crookedy smiles...



When we were all finished, the boy said to me,
"Take my picture as I'm jumping up on top!"

So he took a running leap, and this is what I got...



Stopped dead in his tracks by a ginormous hay splinter.
Farm life has its risks.

Pumpkin Church

Remember when I said I liked pumpkins "en masse"?



There's just something about a big pile of orange pumpkins that makes me smile. Maybe they are at church. Maybe they are at Mass. Or maybe they're not church-goers at all. Heathen pumpkins. Who knows?

We thanked Columbus for our long weekend by going to the Farm/Pumpkin Patch.
I tortured the boy by taking pictures.
In his terms, "Hell on Earth."

The hayride...


The "General Store"... Or as I call it, the farmer's idea of a cute photo op...


This place grew some mighty big pumpkins...


And I am growing a very cute almost-preteen baby giraffe who is still adorable even when he's ticked off at his momma for taking so many pictures.

The Ten on Tuesday That Isn't

Well. This week's questions are about exercising. Good grief.
I was feeling all guilty, and then I read Chelsea's answers and realized I'm not alone in my hatred of the whole "working out" thing.
But. She just had a baby. She has a good excuse.
I had a baby. 11.5 years ago. I have no excuse.
I just HATE exercise.

So... here's my best attempt at answering questions I am not qualified to answer.

1. What does your work out schedule look like?
It is invisible.

2. What is your favorite machine to use at the gym?
The Coke machine.

3. What is your favorite class to take at the gym?
The scrapbooking one that meets down the hall.

4. Where do you shop for work out gear and clothing?
Now I do love some Yoga pants. Target and Old Navy.

5. If you can’t go to the gym, do you have a favorite outdoor activity?
Walking.

6. What about a favorite work out DVD? If so, please share!
I used to do Bob's workout (from the Biggest Loser), but I really like him better on the show. Not yelling at me to "push myself."

7. Are you more active now or when you were in high school?
Oh heavens. In high school for sure. I know my husband's side of the family will not believe this, but I used to be scrawny. Like a rail. A skinny minny.

8. How has your dieting/working out philosophy changed since high school?
I used to eat what I wanted and be skinny. Now when I just think about eating, I get fatter. I used to be more active, but I have always disliked exercise.

9. What do you do while working out– (i.e., day dream, read, listen to music, gab with a friend)?
Nothing. Cause I don't work out. If and when I go walking, I listen to music.

10. What working out resolution would you like to make for yourself this year?
To continue not working out and lose 45 pounds. I would like to look like one of those skinny runner chicks I see in the neighborhood. All cute and thin and running. Running. When did that become the "thing" to do? These days, if you aren't on your third marathon, you are a loser.
Maybe my resolution should be to get a better attitude about exercise.
And to stop comparing myself to the neighborhood skinnies.