I Saw The Signs

I was pumping gas a few days ago, and I noticed the sign above the ice machine outside the gas station.  The sign said,

"Healthier Than Homemade"

 

Really?  Is that something I should be noticing when I put ice in my drinks at home?  I have never stopped to wonder, "Is this ice healthy?"  And I have purchased plenty of ice in those monster-sized bags from the gas station for parties or get-togethers.  Not once did I feel better about serving my guests healthy ice.

 

This week, the boy and I went to a park near our house to take some pictures so I can get a head start on the family Christmas card.  I usually try to take the Christmas card pictures over Thanksgiving, and it is as much fun as you can imagine.  The beautifully cool Fall weather we've had for 3 weeks straight magically disappears on Thanksgiving Day, and it turns out to be a humid 98 degrees.  I have visions of color-coordinated outfits and Fall-happy smiles, but what I typically get is someone squinting in the sun, at least 2 people dripping in sweat, and one or 2 folks complaining about the hot outfit they have on.  And there's only 3 of us.

So while I was torturing my son taking his picture at the park, we saw this:

 

 

Who walks on mud on purpose?  Maybe I'm not the adventuring type, but if I see a big, half-dried up, muddy lake bed, I do not have the urge to step out in it.  Who knew our park had quick sand?   I said I would pay good money to see somebody stuck up to their chest in mud.  Well, maybe I wouldn't actually pay to see it, but I would like to see it.

 

And then I had to run into the store this morning for a few quick 83 items.  This is the sign that greeted me at the door.

Thanks, Wal Mart.  My holiday anxiety was already beginning to rear its ugly head.  You have helped me shoot straight into full-on panic mode.

 







Do You Have A List?

If you are a parent, I am pretty certain you have a list.  I have a list.  I would love to tell you it is a written list, but that would be a lie.  I keep the list in my mind, where we all know it could vanish at any given moment.
My list is called, "Things I Never Thought I Would Ever Ever Say"
The list could also be titled, "Weird Stuff You Say When You Have Kids"
Some of my favorite items on the list are:
1.  Why is your underwear on the cat?
2.  Get down off the top of the refrigerator.
3.  Don't fight with a drink in your hands!
And my latest entry... "I got your tutu out of the garage for you to wear.  Again."
That is correct.  The boy wears a tutu.  But only on special occasions.

 

He was a cheerleader in the annual Powder Puff Football game.  He takes his role seriously, and - like all good cheerleaders - wears a short skirt.  Thankfully, he wears shorts and pants under it.
He was a cheerleader last year, too, but he had to borrow a pink tutu.  Heaven forbid.  So this year, he has his own.  He's even worn it before, but I can't remember what for.  Maybe I'm subconsciously blocking the memory.  Last week, he reminded me about the game, so I went rummaging through the costume box in the garage to find the tutu.  And that's when it happened.  I said, "Your tutu is in your room!"  I stopped and thought to myself, "That needs to go on the list."
New parents are sometimes given the advice to write down the funny and cute things their kids say, and that is great advice.  But the crazy stuff parents end up saying is just as entertaining.  And some things should not be forgotten.  Maybe I will start that list today.

"I Hate To See October Go"

I have ambitious plans today to take the giant spider off my front porch, and I am referring to a decoration... not my housekeeping skills.  Is it just me, or is it November already?  The end of October always makes me a tiny bit sad; it might be my favorite month.  I think Barry Manilow wrote a song about the end of October.  Granny may have to add that to her playlist. 
All things Fall make me happy... Changing leaves, college football games, clothes that cover all the stuff, and the (sometimes) cooler weather. Why does the weather never seem to cooperate on Easter or Halloween?  I have fond memories of either shivering in a too-thin costume or pouring sweat in something with fur. 

As usual, Halloween was big fun this year.  The boy hung out with his friends, and I passed out candy to miniature princesses, ninjas, and one rocket ship.  I may have become "that lady" who dresses up the cat and the dog.

 

I don't know why our cat missed the memo on the Star Wars costume theme this year.  Maybe Obi Wan and Leia picked up a space witch on the way back from Endor.

Our dog was a big help giving out candy to all the kids.  I call her my "Trick-or-Treater Greeter,"  and she was the life of the party.



 

In talking with a few mom friends of mine this week, we all agreed we need a way to freeze time.  To go back (for just a minute) to the days when our kids were the sweaty toddlers in the fur costumes.  To go back to the time when we could eat all the candy from their little plastic pumpkins and they were clueless.
Last week, the boy accused me of not wanting him to grow up.  Telling him he was wrong was fun, but it gave me the chance to explain the truth.  I told him I am loving having a 16 year old, just as much as I loved having a 6 year old.  Every stage and every age has been something to treasure.  (Except for all that no sleeping nonsense as a baby.)  I told him I am not sad he's growing up... I'm sentimental.  I think there is a difference. My job as a mom is making sure he does grow up, and I want to enjoy every step.  Then I told him to bring his mama some candy.

If anyone is worried about me, don't be.  The only things I love more than Halloween and Fall are the holidays.  I am already trying to decide when I can put up the tree.

Some Life Happened

Please overlook the date of my last post.  You will also need to overlook the snow pictures.
And in the spirit of forgiveness, please overlook my lack of motivation to blog.  My apologies to the few faithful readers.

All is well with us.  A lot happens in a year and a half.
Let me hit the highlights:
Sometime in the spring, we thought we were going to have to move to a new house.  We prepared to move, but then we did not have to move.  No stress there (insert eye roll).

The Boy started his first year of high school, finished his first year of high school, started his Sophomore year of high school, and started driving.  Lord.  Have.  Mercy.  I could stop here, and most of you would not only forgive me, but you might send me a spa gift certificate.

Dan/Daddy finished one job, started another job, got a promotion, and started school.

We took a few family trips.

We survived the Winter of 2015.  I love snow, but I even got tired of it.

I lived through two summers.  If you know me and my hatred of all things hot weather, you know this is a big deal.

The boy played a lot of soccer.  He even joined a new team.  A team not close to home.

We went to a lot of soccer games.  More than I can count.

We spent a lot of time in the car.

We celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.

We tried to see our families as much as we could.  It always feels like it's never enough.

Some of us gained a few pounds, a few wrinkles, and a pair of reading glasses. 

Some of us grew a few inches and gained some muscles.  Oh to be 16 again.

In other words, life happened.  I have missed you all.

There was no good reason to take a long break from blog writing.  I tend to be a procrastinator, and I once read procrastination is proof of perfectionism.  So let's just all say I was perfecting my perfectionism.  By procrastinating.

March Came In Like An Angry Lion

We are stuck in the house again.  Sunday afternoon was a little rainy, and that rain turned into pouring rain.  Then the pouring rain turned into pouring ice.  The ice mounded up, and snow fell on top of the ice.  And all of life as we know it came to a standstill.  We got the "real snow" I was whining about.  No church, no school, no work.  Even the mall was closed.

My brother, sis-in-law, and nephew had been visiting us for the weekend, so we hurried them out the door and hunkered down.  Thankfully, our power has stayed on, so we have enjoyed our 2-day winter vacation.  I will not enjoy it when the school district starts taking away Spring Break or adding days to the end of the year. 

We dug our high-tech sled out of the garage and spent the afternoon trying to kill ourselves.  I crashed into the house and the deck stairs about 8 out of the 10 times I took a turn. The right side of my backside is not feeling so well.  The boy smashed onto the concrete patio, and he may have to replace our wooden fence.

 

 

Is it obvious why he's a soccer player and not an Olympic bobsledder?  We took our dog on a few rides, too.  Well... we tried. 

I also tried to upload the video of me sledding with the dog, but the computer-internet is not cooperating.  What a shame.  I'll just tell you the dog jumped ship about halfway down the hill.

 

 

We are hoping to chip our way out by tomorrow.  Being stuck at home with my people is fun, but after about 5 hours, they start to eat up all the food.  I also can't afford any more injuries.

It's A Cruel Cruel Winter

When you read that title, did you start singing "It's a Cruel, Cruel Summer" by Bananarama?  From 1983? I did, but I had to Google who sang it.  Bananarama?  What kind of name is that?  I digress...

I am one of the weird people who like Winter.  But, Winter has been a booger this year.  I get sad when I hear folks talking about being ready for Spring, because Spring is still almost 2 months away.  On top of that fancy Polar Vortex, we've had ice, sleet, freezing rain, and wind chills consistently below 0.
My brother, sis-in-law, and nephew live north of Atlanta, and you have to be from Mars to not know what they experienced last week.  My poor sis-in-law spent over 20 hours in her car just trying to get home from work.  She actually spent the night in her car in an Olive Garden parking lot.  I may never get her to go out for soup, salad, and breadsticks again.

The kids here have missed 3 or 4 days of school due to ice on the roads. 
Our weather forecasts have predicted snow many times, and many times we've been disappointed.

The predicted 2-4 inches comes down as .25 inch and freezing rain.  I think snow is beautiful, and as a stay-at-home mom, I think a snow day is pure bliss. 
We just haven't had "real" snow.  We've only had flurries and ice.  No snowmen, no sledding, no snow ice cream.
If you live where the snow fall is measured in feet, I am sorry.
If your power has gone out, I am sorry.
If you live in Atlanta and spent the night in your car, I am very sorry.
I just want a few days of fluffy white, school-stopping snow.

Because of the missed school days, our school system has taken away the President's Day holiday.  The kiddos have to go to school on a scheduled holiday.  Not cool, school.
Earlier this week, schools were delayed (again!) an hour because of... you guessed it... icy roads.
The call came at 5:15.  That's AM, people.
We normally wake up about 5:30, so that call interrupted my last 15 minutes of sleep and started a nightmarish hour of torture.

5:15 AM - Phone call tells me school is delayed an hour.  I reset my clock for 6:30 and smile in my warm cozy bed.

5:17 AM - My bladder says, "Hey!  We need to go to the bathroom!  It's our normal tinkle time!"

5:20 AM - Back into my warm cozy bed.

5:28 AM - Dan/Daddy's cold medicine wears off and he begins to drown in his sleep, but he keeps sleeping peacefully.

5:30 AM - Put pillow over my head to mute snoring/drowning noises coming from 20 inches away.

5:41 AM - The boy wakes up, looks at his clock, and walks in to make sure I haven't overslept.  I whisper to him, "School is delayed. Go back to bed."  Not sure why I whispered... the freight train beside me lumbers on.

5:49 AM - The cat drags an iPod cord into the hallway to kill it, and she begins serenading us.  "Mrrroooowww!  Meeerrrrrroooowwlllll!"

5:52 AM - Take pillow off head and fling it into the hallway at the cat.

5:55 AM - Start to wish I had kept the pillow to put over Dan/Daddy's head.

6:00 AM - Begin to feel sleep washing over me.  Instantly get sad because I only have a few minutes left.

6:07 AM - Remember 392 things I need to do today and 374 I didn't do yesterday.

6:15 AM - Clock goes off.

I am grateful our school officials are concerned about safety.  I really am.  They are not, however, concerned about my sleep or my sanity.

The forecast for the weekend is calling for more snow.  Another forecast, another disappointment.
I may not even make a mad dash to the store for milk and bread.

Mama Don't Play

When the boy was about 4 years old, he would play a little "game."  If you asked him what his daddy did, he would say,
"Daddy plays!"  In his mind, his daddy's job was to play with him.
If you asked him what I did, he would say,
"Mama don't play."  He wasn't saying I never played with him... I did that ALLDAYLONG.  He was actually saying I didn't let him "get away with" bad behavior, but his dad did.  It's no secret I'm the main disciplinarian in the family.  And Dan/Daddy is the party animal. 
We pretty much continue in those roles to this day.  I even forgot he used to say that until one day last week... when it came rushing back to me.

We were driving to a dentist appointment, and when we stopped at a red light, the boy tossed his gum out the window... onto a sidewalk.
I said, "Did you just throw your gum out onto the sidewalk?!?"
"Umm... Yes."   (At least he's honest.)

I broke into a speech about gum on the sidewalk and how I have taught him better and "Have you lost your mind?"
He tried to justify his behavior, and I said, "Get out and pick it up."  (The light was still red.) 
He looked at me like I was crazy.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I am."

"Why do I have to pick it up?  No one is gonna step on it."
"That is exactly why you are going to pick it up... Someone is going to step on it.  It's rude to throw gum on the sidewalk."

"We've been sitting here a long time.  What if the light changes?"
"If the light changes, I will drive around the corner and wait for you.  Get out, and pick up the gum."

With a big huffy breath, he grabbed a Kleenex, got out, and picked up the gum.
He said, "I can't believe you made me do that."
At that exact moment, I remembered his funny little phrase from 10 years ago, and I said,
"Mama don't play."

Don't you just love it when your own words come back to haunt you?