I was looking at my little boy's cute face today when I noticed a reddish spot near his nose.
I said, "Is that a pimple by your nose?"
(He IS a pre-teen nowadays, and being a pre-teen comes with all that fun stuff.)
He said, "I prefer to think of it as my sexy mole."
I wish I had an ounce of that boy's self confidence.
PS... For those who think I am embarrassing the hang out of my child, I asked his permission to post this. He laughed when he read it and said,
"It IS pretty funny."
I rest my case.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Tiki Idols and Dave Ramsey
At the risk of exposing my old age, I am about to reference the Brady Bunch. Remember the episode where they go to Hawaii and the tiki idol necklace causes all those problems? If you do, then you know where I'm going with this.
And you have to live in a hole in the woods to not know who Dave Ramsey is. He is a smart guy with some wonderful financial advice. He and his minions also makes me feel like a complete failure on a weekly basis.
The connection between Mr. Ramsey and the Brady family? Hold on.
I think somebody stuffed a tiki idol in my luggage while we were on vacation, because the "luck" around here has not been good.
In the course of about 72 hours, I broke 3 can openers and the mixer.
Have you ever hacked into a can with a butter knife? Do you know it is almost impossible to make sugar cookies on Christmas Eve without a mixer? I honestly don't know how the Ingalls family made sugar cookies.
On the day after Christmas, I came home to Dan/Daddy telling me he'd broken a new Christmas platter.
Then he says,
"Oh and the computer died."
Joy.
Nothing is better than having to buy kitchen necessities and a computer within a few hours of spending entirely too much money on a vacation and Christmas.
With our New Year's goals of "spending less and saving more" fresh in our minds, we have started to replace things.
We determined the computer was truly dead and that no amount of geeks in a squad can help us. The fate of our old files and pictures is yet to be determined. I have an external hard drive, but everything wasn't on it... Lesson learned.
I did want a new laptop, but I didn't want it this way.
The mixer and the can opener were a little less expensive, but who wants to spend money on small appliances? The only thing I can think of that would be worse would be buying an iron. Have mercy.
Dave Ramsey would remind me of that $100,000 I am supposed to have in savings in these "emergency" situations. I would be tempted to throw my old mixer at him.
So... I am tearing my house apart looking for that dumb tiki idol. Whoever stashed it in my stuff wile I was away is in big trouble. By the way, whatever happened to that tiki idol in the TV show? Did the Brady Bunch get rid of it? Did they have to throw it in a volcano to destroy it?
If I find a volcano, I think I'll toss in one of our Dave Ramsey books.
And you have to live in a hole in the woods to not know who Dave Ramsey is. He is a smart guy with some wonderful financial advice. He and his minions also makes me feel like a complete failure on a weekly basis.
The connection between Mr. Ramsey and the Brady family? Hold on.
I think somebody stuffed a tiki idol in my luggage while we were on vacation, because the "luck" around here has not been good.
In the course of about 72 hours, I broke 3 can openers and the mixer.
Have you ever hacked into a can with a butter knife? Do you know it is almost impossible to make sugar cookies on Christmas Eve without a mixer? I honestly don't know how the Ingalls family made sugar cookies.
On the day after Christmas, I came home to Dan/Daddy telling me he'd broken a new Christmas platter.
Then he says,
"Oh and the computer died."
Joy.
Nothing is better than having to buy kitchen necessities and a computer within a few hours of spending entirely too much money on a vacation and Christmas.
With our New Year's goals of "spending less and saving more" fresh in our minds, we have started to replace things.
We determined the computer was truly dead and that no amount of geeks in a squad can help us. The fate of our old files and pictures is yet to be determined. I have an external hard drive, but everything wasn't on it... Lesson learned.
I did want a new laptop, but I didn't want it this way.
The mixer and the can opener were a little less expensive, but who wants to spend money on small appliances? The only thing I can think of that would be worse would be buying an iron. Have mercy.
Dave Ramsey would remind me of that $100,000 I am supposed to have in savings in these "emergency" situations. I would be tempted to throw my old mixer at him.
So... I am tearing my house apart looking for that dumb tiki idol. Whoever stashed it in my stuff wile I was away is in big trouble. By the way, whatever happened to that tiki idol in the TV show? Did the Brady Bunch get rid of it? Did they have to throw it in a volcano to destroy it?
If I find a volcano, I think I'll toss in one of our Dave Ramsey books.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
And To All A Good Night
This elf is done. I wish I meant done shopping, baking, wrapping, and fixin'.
I mean "done" as in "stick a fork in me" done.
Pooped.
Spent.
Worn slap out.
In the past 12 days, we have been to Hogwarts and the Happiest Place on Earth. To finish things off, we went over the river and through the woods to Nana's house, too.
We had a blast. A hoot of a good time. One of the best vacations ever. (If not the best.)
I'm planning on boring you all later with retelling and pictures, but for now I am keeping it simple.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Merry Christmas, friends.
I mean "done" as in "stick a fork in me" done.
Pooped.
Spent.
Worn slap out.
In the past 12 days, we have been to Hogwarts and the Happiest Place on Earth. To finish things off, we went over the river and through the woods to Nana's house, too.
We had a blast. A hoot of a good time. One of the best vacations ever. (If not the best.)
I'm planning on boring you all later with retelling and pictures, but for now I am keeping it simple.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Merry Christmas, friends.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Is Anybody Cryin' Yet?
I know some of you have heard this phrase:
"Christmas Isn't Christmas Until _______ "
Then you fill in the blank with whatever signifies the start of the holiday season to you.
I've heard: "Christmas Isn't Christmas Until..."
... Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer plays on TV.
... I have a cup of hot chocolate.
... The tree is up.
... I buy the first present.
... The first Christmas card comes in the mail.
I have a few favorites of my own, but it requires changing up the wording a bit.
"Christmas Ain't Christmas Until..."
... Somebody cries.
... The cat eats and poops some tinsel.
... I start stressing about what to buy the "hard-to-buy-for" people.
... Starbucks hauls out the red cups.
... I say 2 bad words while hanging up the outdoor lights. (Or tell my husband where he can put those lights.)
What "officially" starts the Christmas season for you?
"Christmas Isn't Christmas Until _______ "
Then you fill in the blank with whatever signifies the start of the holiday season to you.
I've heard: "Christmas Isn't Christmas Until..."
... Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer plays on TV.
... I have a cup of hot chocolate.
... The tree is up.
... I buy the first present.
... The first Christmas card comes in the mail.
I have a few favorites of my own, but it requires changing up the wording a bit.
"Christmas Ain't Christmas Until..."
... Somebody cries.
... The cat eats and poops some tinsel.
... I start stressing about what to buy the "hard-to-buy-for" people.
... Starbucks hauls out the red cups.
... I say 2 bad words while hanging up the outdoor lights. (Or tell my husband where he can put those lights.)
What "officially" starts the Christmas season for you?
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Driving 101 For Preteens
Two conversations I had with the boy last week...
Conversation #1 happened while we were driving to church. The speed limit in the area is 55 mph. I may or may not have been running a teensy bit late.
As we went around a corner, he said,
"I can feel the G-Forces."
Conversation #2 happened on the way to school. The speed limit in this area is 35 mph and 20 mph (school zone). I may or may not have had a few cars behind me.
As we rounded a curve, he said,
"Gosh. You have, like, 50 cars lined up behind you."
Not too long ago, I asked him who he wanted to teach him to drive when the time came... me or Dan/Daddy?
His response?
"Well... when it comes to rules and laws, I want you to teach me."
(smile.) (I won.)
But then he said,
"I want Daddy to teach me how to get out of a spin."
Great. Because all teen drivers need to know how to get out of a spin.
I need to remember to ask Mario Andretti (I mean, Dan/Daddy) how many "spins" he's actually had to get out of.
I am also accepting applications for a personal Driver's Ed teacher. We will be filling the position in 3 - 4 years. It seems as if his parents are unqualified.
Conversation #1 happened while we were driving to church. The speed limit in the area is 55 mph. I may or may not have been running a teensy bit late.
As we went around a corner, he said,
"I can feel the G-Forces."
Conversation #2 happened on the way to school. The speed limit in this area is 35 mph and 20 mph (school zone). I may or may not have had a few cars behind me.
As we rounded a curve, he said,
"Gosh. You have, like, 50 cars lined up behind you."
Not too long ago, I asked him who he wanted to teach him to drive when the time came... me or Dan/Daddy?
His response?
"Well... when it comes to rules and laws, I want you to teach me."
(smile.) (I won.)
But then he said,
"I want Daddy to teach me how to get out of a spin."
Great. Because all teen drivers need to know how to get out of a spin.
I need to remember to ask Mario Andretti (I mean, Dan/Daddy) how many "spins" he's actually had to get out of.
I am also accepting applications for a personal Driver's Ed teacher. We will be filling the position in 3 - 4 years. It seems as if his parents are unqualified.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
It's The Most Anxious Time Of The Year
Why do the "happy" times in our lives cause stress?
I'm okay with the stressful times causing stress, but I am against the happy times causing stress. It's just wrong.
Confused yet?
I can think of more than a few occasions which are inherently good that make people act all crazy.
Like.... remodeling a house or a room. You are getting a brand new space! But, not before somebody nails their shirt to the floor and gets an ulcer about paint color.
Or.... a wedding. A beautiful happy event! But, somebody will be in knots about the drippy candles or the bride's best friend's haircut.
Or... vacation. Finally a chance to relax! But, somebody will lose their mind over what didn't get packed or whether or not the coffee pot was left on.
I am not, by the way, speaking from experience.
Yeah, right.
Dan/Daddy and I hung the Christmas lights outside the other day, and I threatened to pull the ladder out from under him.
Almost every Christmas, I am solely responsible for the decorating. Inside and out. I get help from my people when it comes to the tree if I provide hot chocolate and music. They will say it's because I'm a perfectionist.
They are partially right.
This past Sunday afternoon, Dan/Daddy tried to get off Santa's "not helpful" list and offered his assistance with the outside lights.
If you recall my Halloween lighting fiasco, you can figure out where this is headed.
When we moved this summer, we threw away our old ladder... it was falling apart. We haven't replaced it yet, so the short kitchen step-stool had to work.
It didn't.
Dan/Daddy is a very tall guy, but the place where I wanted the lights and garland to hang is a very very tall place.
He was standing on the step-stool, stretching as far as he could, hammering little hooks into the door frame, and asking me to hand him the cord.
I obviously did not hand him the cord in the manner he thought best.
He took that moment to let me know how unhappy he was that we hadn't taken the time to get our sad cheap pathetic selves to Lowe's to buy a new ladder.
That's when I considered yanking that short little ladder out from under him.
Kidding, people. Kidding.
I love my husband and would never consider bodily harming him.
I did, however, tell him exactly where he could put the light strand. And it wasn't anywhere near the door frame.
It's the hap-happiest season of all.
I'm okay with the stressful times causing stress, but I am against the happy times causing stress. It's just wrong.
Confused yet?
I can think of more than a few occasions which are inherently good that make people act all crazy.
Like.... remodeling a house or a room. You are getting a brand new space! But, not before somebody nails their shirt to the floor and gets an ulcer about paint color.
Or.... a wedding. A beautiful happy event! But, somebody will be in knots about the drippy candles or the bride's best friend's haircut.
Or... vacation. Finally a chance to relax! But, somebody will lose their mind over what didn't get packed or whether or not the coffee pot was left on.
I am not, by the way, speaking from experience.
Yeah, right.
Dan/Daddy and I hung the Christmas lights outside the other day, and I threatened to pull the ladder out from under him.
Almost every Christmas, I am solely responsible for the decorating. Inside and out. I get help from my people when it comes to the tree if I provide hot chocolate and music. They will say it's because I'm a perfectionist.
They are partially right.
This past Sunday afternoon, Dan/Daddy tried to get off Santa's "not helpful" list and offered his assistance with the outside lights.
If you recall my Halloween lighting fiasco, you can figure out where this is headed.
When we moved this summer, we threw away our old ladder... it was falling apart. We haven't replaced it yet, so the short kitchen step-stool had to work.
It didn't.
Dan/Daddy is a very tall guy, but the place where I wanted the lights and garland to hang is a very very tall place.
He was standing on the step-stool, stretching as far as he could, hammering little hooks into the door frame, and asking me to hand him the cord.
I obviously did not hand him the cord in the manner he thought best.
He took that moment to let me know how unhappy he was that we hadn't taken the time to get our sad cheap pathetic selves to Lowe's to buy a new ladder.
That's when I considered yanking that short little ladder out from under him.
Kidding, people. Kidding.
I love my husband and would never consider bodily harming him.
I did, however, tell him exactly where he could put the light strand. And it wasn't anywhere near the door frame.
It's the hap-happiest season of all.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
The Angel Went To GoodWill And Now I Am Confused
I am asking the approximately 7.5 of you who read this blog to answer a question.
I am puzzled , but that's not unusual. I am puzzled by something that's never entered my mind before, and it's all about Christmas decorations.
Blame Pinterest (again) if you want to.
I realize that home decorating styles change ALLTHETIME. What was popular last month is out of style today. It happens with wall colors and window treatments and furniture styles and Heaven help you if you have a piece of furniture from 1998... you better paint it fast to look like it came from Pottery Barn or Anthropologie.
A girl would have to knock off the local bank to keep up with the decorating times.
Is it the same for Christmas decorations? Are we all supposed to toss last year's classic red and green ribbon for this year's hottest blue garland?
I made the mistake of looking at HGTV's website.
They listed 12 different "styles" of Christmas decor. You just thought it was all about the red and green. They also listed White, Snowy White, Warm Green and White, Pink, Simple, Over the Top, and Gold.
And 4 more.
By the way, there wasn't one single giant inflatable yard Frosty on that list.
Nor any homemade angel clothespin ornaments made by a toddler.
So how do you all decorate for Christmas?
Do you stick to a theme? Do you use all the same colors? Do you have any collections? (Is that even ok anymore?)
I want to know if you change your decor with the trends. (I may want to borrow some money from you, too.)
Every year when we haul out the holly, I go through our ornaments and lights and other stuff to see what's broken. I glued the feet back onto 3 Rudolph characters yesterday. The Nutcrackers had a makeshift hospital on my kitchen counter. Poor guys.... moving all the time does not agree with them.
The saddest discovery I made was that our tree angel doesn't work anymore. We were trying to get her to light up when I realized... she is old. OLD. Older than my child. Maybe older than some of you. We bought her one of the first Christmases after we got married. That makes her somewhere between 15 and 18. That is old in tree angel years.
I'm amazed she lasted this long.
I put her in a bag of outgrown clothes I was taking to donate. Poor old girl.
So now I'm on the hunt for a new tree topper. Not because my style changed, but because I had to.
That's what I'm talking about.... Is it just me? Or are all of you hopping onto the latest Christmas trends?
And what do you do with all the stuff that's "out of style" now? Is it going to join my angel?
Help me out here, folks.
Do you have any giant yard inflatables?
What do you do with your children's precious handmade collections?
What is your Christmas decorating philosophy?
I may need to draw on all your knowledge in my quest for a new angel.
PS.... Here's the link for the HGTV article if you're interested:
http://www.bhg.com/christmas/indoor-decorating/christmas-decorating-styles/
PSS... If anyone has a pink tree, I want to see a picture.
I am puzzled , but that's not unusual. I am puzzled by something that's never entered my mind before, and it's all about Christmas decorations.
Blame Pinterest (again) if you want to.
I realize that home decorating styles change ALLTHETIME. What was popular last month is out of style today. It happens with wall colors and window treatments and furniture styles and Heaven help you if you have a piece of furniture from 1998... you better paint it fast to look like it came from Pottery Barn or Anthropologie.
A girl would have to knock off the local bank to keep up with the decorating times.
Is it the same for Christmas decorations? Are we all supposed to toss last year's classic red and green ribbon for this year's hottest blue garland?
I made the mistake of looking at HGTV's website.
They listed 12 different "styles" of Christmas decor. You just thought it was all about the red and green. They also listed White, Snowy White, Warm Green and White, Pink, Simple, Over the Top, and Gold.
And 4 more.
By the way, there wasn't one single giant inflatable yard Frosty on that list.
Nor any homemade angel clothespin ornaments made by a toddler.
So how do you all decorate for Christmas?
Do you stick to a theme? Do you use all the same colors? Do you have any collections? (Is that even ok anymore?)
I want to know if you change your decor with the trends. (I may want to borrow some money from you, too.)
Every year when we haul out the holly, I go through our ornaments and lights and other stuff to see what's broken. I glued the feet back onto 3 Rudolph characters yesterday. The Nutcrackers had a makeshift hospital on my kitchen counter. Poor guys.... moving all the time does not agree with them.
The saddest discovery I made was that our tree angel doesn't work anymore. We were trying to get her to light up when I realized... she is old. OLD. Older than my child. Maybe older than some of you. We bought her one of the first Christmases after we got married. That makes her somewhere between 15 and 18. That is old in tree angel years.
I'm amazed she lasted this long.
I put her in a bag of outgrown clothes I was taking to donate. Poor old girl.
So now I'm on the hunt for a new tree topper. Not because my style changed, but because I had to.
That's what I'm talking about.... Is it just me? Or are all of you hopping onto the latest Christmas trends?
And what do you do with all the stuff that's "out of style" now? Is it going to join my angel?
Help me out here, folks.
Do you have any giant yard inflatables?
What do you do with your children's precious handmade collections?
What is your Christmas decorating philosophy?
I may need to draw on all your knowledge in my quest for a new angel.
PS.... Here's the link for the HGTV article if you're interested:
http://www.bhg.com/christmas/indoor-decorating/christmas-decorating-styles/
PSS... If anyone has a pink tree, I want to see a picture.
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