I'd Rather Be The Po-Po

I was about to title this post: Local Yokels
When I looked up the definition of "local yokel" on a few websites, I realized I am not...

local yokel:
1. Trucker slang for city police officer as in
"That town up ahead is crawling with local yokels."

(By the way, I call them the po-po.)

The definition I was looking for was:

local yokel:
2. a naive or gullible inhabitant of a rural area or small town

We've lived here 4 months now, and it still fells like we're settling in.
In an attempt to feel more like folks who know what's going on, we have been "touring" and "visiting" parts of the area.
I don't want to be a naive local.

We went hiking at a cave and park; it has been a beautiful Fall here in these parts...






On the day we were at the park, I made a decision to become a nature photographer. Not because I think my photographs are amazing, but because nature cannot talk back to me or complain.
Taking pictures of my people has become such a chore, a burden, and a pain in the patootie. And I only have two people! You brave souls out there with 4+ kids? You are in my picture-prayers.

The biggest complainer, sadly, happens to be the cutest person in the family. So I take a nerve pill and keep taking his picture.


We also took a short road trip to "Land Between The Lakes." It's a large national recreation area that covers parts of Tennessee and Kentucky. It is THE place to go for boating, camping, hunting, fishing, and summertime activities. Did you get that?
SUMMERtime activities.
This place shuts down from November to March.
Meaning we were the only people there besides two 88 year-old tour guides. And a sleepy park ranger. And a cook and a waitress at the ONLY place in town to eat.

They have a bison and elk prairie that is part of a project to reintroduce those species and their habitat back into the area. So cool. You pay $5 per car to drive through.
The sign that greets you at the entrance got me all excited...


Another sign said the current population was Elk:45, Bison:47
We saw absolutely nothing.
Not. One. Single. Thing.
Almost one hundred bison and elk were hiding. 2000 pound and 800 pound animals... hiding.
At least the views were nice.


As we were leaving the park area, we saw one more bison pasture, so we slowed way down and strained our eyes, and...
There they were.
Lounging around on a hill where I could see them for free.


So we three yokels are a little more local.
I would still rather be the po-po.

Chalkboard Confessions IV

First and foremost... a big shout out Happy Birthday to my mom!!!
She is someone I am so very thankful for every day. Enjoy your birthday, Mom!

Now.
You've heard that old saying...
"When the cat's away, the mice will play."
In our house, when the cat's away, the mice take his turn at 30 Days of Thankful.



So far, we are thankful for:
Food (written by the consumer of groceries)
The Cross
Coffee (written by the consumer of coffee)
Salvation
The time change (written by the tired me)
A great son and wife (not written by the dad/husband)

Dan/Daddy is out of town and the boy decided to fill in for him on his turn.
Apparently, we are great.

The 10

Here we go on a Tuesday morning.
Roots and Rings is the place to link up...


1. What’s your favorite television show for each day of the week?
Our TV is usually on cartoons or Animal Planet or The Discovery Channel. I hardly ever watch "grown up" TV, besides the news. Because of cable, I don't even really know what's on anymore.
Monday - Criminal Minds reruns
Tuesday - 19 Kids and Counting or Chopped
Wednesday - a new episode of Criminal Minds
Thursday - Criminal Minds reruns
Friday - Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives
Saturday - this time of year... College Football
Sunday - Sister Wives or CSI Miami
Y'all, seriously. My TV viewing habits are a bit embarrassing.

2. How many times do you wear your jeans before you watch them?
2-3? Depends on how baggy they get. That drives me nuts.

3. What is your favorite pasta shape?
The shape that the recipe calls for. I'm not being a smarty pants; I don't have a favorite.

4. Do you read newspapers?
Nope. Used to.

5. Do you sleep in socks?
Sometimes I start out in them, but I end up pulling them off.

6. Favorite genre of movies?
No favs here, either. I like them all... even action adventure sci fi stuff.

7. How do you feel about wrestling?
I feel that the kind on TV with the giant costumed men is RIDICULOUS.
The other kind is ok, but the outfits are RIDICULOUS.

8. Should men pluck their eyebrows?
If their eyebrows come around the corner before they do? Then, yes.

9. Do you have dimples?
Only in places where it's not cute.

10. Do you like to camp?
Yes, for a short time. I love my indoor potty and my shower and my bed.

A Momma's Confessions About Football

Did you hear a big ol' cheer? It was me.
Our football season is officially over.
(I am in no way referring to the sad Alabama/LSU game. We are still proud and loyal fans, and there was no cheering going on.)
I am talking about the boy's season of tackle football.

This year, he played on a team on the base. We made a 1 hour drive 3 times a week. Sometimes 4. Practice was 2 and a half hours each time. When they started in August, it was 102 degrees. At last weekend's games, it was 35 degrees.
Our days consisted of rushing home, slamming a snack, cramming in the homework, and then zooming to practice. Then it was rush home, cram in some dinner (or spend more money eating out), and then fall into bed. Usually late.
I am glad to see it end.

This was also a "trial season" for our athlete.
You see, the boy has always been a soccer player. He loves it, he says it's his favorite, and he's really good at it. But...
He always talks about playing football. ALWAYS.
He played one season of flag football, and he played once on a traveling team where we were all miserable. So he kept talking and talking and talking about playing again; he just never wanted to follow through with all that talk. This year, he finally decided to give it one more try. One more try to see if it was truly a sport he wanted to play.
He had a blast.
He loved it.
His momma, however, did not love it as much as he did.

(This is the part of this post where I vent my frustrations.)
I would rather watch football than watch my son play football.
It stresses me out.
Y'all have heard my theory on the need for all that padding and protection. I have 4 friends with kids playing football this year... All 4 of them were sidelined with injuries. One ended up in the hospital. As in... surgeries.

I do not enjoy watching ginormous kids tossing my son around.
He was the 3rd skinniest person on his team. He's not built like a football player at all.
But, he loved it.
I will never tell him what he can or cannot choose to play. I will always support him and take him to practice and cheer the loudest on any sideline.
But...
This is what happens to skinny soccer players when they get tackled on a football field.



That's the boy's hip 7 days after the hit and after the swelling finally went down.
He may be able to look me in the eye with his 100+ pound self, but he is still my little boy.
My little boy who never looked like that after a soccer game.

But he loved it.
Have I mentioned how much he loves it?
(He also loved the week his coaches made him sit out of tackling drills because of his injury. There's hope.)

So I will wait for another year to roll around to see if he's going to play again.
It is, after all, his decision.

His newest plan is to play soccer in the Spring and football in the Fall.

I may have to be checked out of the nut house to go watch his games.

30 Days of Thanks Is Taking Over The World

Unless you live under a rock or do not have access to Facebook, you have seen some form of the "30 Days of Thanks" floating around web-land.
It's a simple concept... You think of things to be thankful for and list them.
One for every day of the month.

I've seen some cute ideas on blogs.
I have a few friends listing their "thankful things" on Facebook.
I have one pal who made a little construction paper tree with "thankful leaves" attached.
My friend, J, has a blank list for her people to write on. (She has a lot of people.)

And then there's Pinterest.
Don't get me started.
I didn't linger for too long because I was sure to see a real tree with twinkly white lights transplanted into somebody's house... covered with handmade leaves sewn out of beautiful fabric... with each leaf bearing a thankful item hand-stitched into it.

Have I mentioned I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest?

So we are being thankful this month, and we are using the chalkboard already on the wall. I'm crafty like that.

I let the boy go first, and so far the only thing on our wall is "food."
Well. You can't say we don't have our priorities straight around here.

What are y'all thankful for?

Happy November And 10

When Dan/Daddy first put his 'fro on last night, I laughed so hard I nearly choked to death on the Twizzler I was eating.
He looked like a middle-aged Napoleon Dynamite minus the awesome suit.

I went casual and wore my favorite hat.

The boy ran (dragging me behind) all over our new neighborhood and scored a VAST amount of sugar.
I was, however, a little disappointed by the low number of trick-or-treaters we had. We usually live on post wherever we are stationed, and I am accustomed to MASSES of costumed kiddos.
We are typically out of candy by 6:58 pm, and we have to turn off the lights and lock the doors and hope no one tears up the decor in a candy revolt.

Not here.
It was a little sad.
It's especially sad this morning when I look at all the candy I have left.

Dear Lord,
Please keep me from eating it all.
Amen.

Now. My pal over at Roots and Rings has pointed out a lack of participation in 10 on Tuesday. Well. Oops. That has been me. No excuses, just slackness.
Go join in if you have time...

1. What is your favorite month?
December. Love the cold and the holiday.

2. What is the best candy to get while trick or treating?
Anything chocolate

3. What kind of pen do you use?
A gel pen

4. You go to a new Italian restaurant, what is your go-to order?
Lasagna

5. If you could choose to have any celebrity’s hair, who’s would you choose?
Reese Witherspoon

6. What’s your favorite board game?
Is Boggle a board game? I heart Boggle.

7. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope. I wish I did, but I am hard to teach.

8. What do you think about Old Navy commercials?
Some of them crack me up. I like going into the store and seeing the plastic folks from the commercials.

9. What hurts worse- a stubbed toe or a paper cut?
A stubbed toe, initially. But, a paper cut is the injury that keeps on giving... like when you wash your hands or when you get ketchup in it.

10. What’s your favorite kind of pie?
Something warm... like apple or peach or cherry.

Have a great 11-1-11, people!

Don't Call Me If The End Times Come

Did y'all ever know someone who canned things? Someone who spent hours and days making sure they were ready for the winter with jars and jars of vegetables and pickles and jams?
I have aunts and grandmas and grandma-in-laws (and even friends) who do.
I vividly remember the smell in my house growing up when my mom made homemade pickles.
All those jars and lids and hot water baths... not to mention all the picking and washing and cutting and chopping.

Well that is not me.
I soooo admire the art of storing food, but I am content to ride off to the Mart and spend money on Smuckers.
Don't get me wrong... I LOVE the homemade stuff. It tastes better, and it probably has way less sugar and chemicals.

When we came home from the orchard a few weekends ago, I had a LOAD of apples, so I got the bright idea to make apple butter in the crock pot.
My sis-in-law has done it a thousand times, and the recipes are all over the internet.

Well.
20 apples and 2 days later, I had myself 2 whole jars.



Don't be jealous.
There are calluses on my hand from all that peeling.
I am happy I did it, and it IS yummy.
But my word. The labor and the payoff did not equal out.

I'll be rationing this stuff out like it's liquid gold. If you come over to our house for breakfast, do not expect to get free reign on the apple butter jar.
And, if the apocalypse is coming, you may want to find another place to stay.