Hair Idol

Now this is some American Idol I can watch.
All the folks I was feeling a bit "half-hearted" about... They are gone.
Leaving my "fav" 4.

Lee... and his sweet little crooked-y smile.
Big Mike... and the way he looks like he's about to pop out of whatever he is wearing.
Casey... and his hair. The dude can work the curls OR the ponytail.
Crystal... and all her talent.
Can you tell I've chosen my winner? And she comes in first place for me because hair can't win American Idol.

So tonight, for the first time this season, I'll be sad when someone gets sent home.

But there is a ray of hope and sunshine.

When Ryan announced Wednesday night's musical guests, I squealed. Squealed.
Bon Jovi (the pioneer of good hair) and Daughtry (who OWNS the bald look).

Have Mercy.

Ten on Tuesday With An Adorable Picture (Not Mine)

You must go visit the Hursts at Roots and Rings... they have baby pictures!! How can sonogram pictures make you all teary and excited?!? Even when it's not your baby!

Here's the proud new mom's questions for today!

1. What was your high school superlative (if you didn’t have one- what would it have been)?
"Most Likely To Be Glad That High School Is Over"

2. What sports did you play in high school?
Huh? What's that? I can't hear you for the sound of the roaring laughter. Mine and all the people that knew me and my non-athletic self.

3. What was the best part about your wedding (if you’re not married yet, what are you looking forward to)?
The reception! The stress was over, and the fun could begin. I also happen to be a fan of eating. Especially wedding/party type foods.

4. It’s your last meal– what Appetizer, Soup, Salad, Entree and Dessert would you choose?
Appetizer: Crab Cakes
Soup: Charleston She Crab Soup with Sherry
Salad: Caesar with homemade croutons
Entree: Shrimp and Grits
Dessert: Apple Pie... no ice cream

5. What song is your guilty pleasure?
Please don't tell on me to the Chaplain Wife Boss... if there is one.
"Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas.

6. What is your favorite professional sports team, and why do you like them?
I don't like pro sports. Sorry. I like college sports. Mostly football. If I had to choose, I'd say the New Orleans Saints. I like a team that can rise above the adversity around them. The city of New Orleans deserved that Super Bowl win. And lots more.

7. What is your favorite reality show and why do you like it?
Do I have to choose just ONE?? Mercy. Around here, if it ain't reality, I ain't watching! Let's see.... American Idol, of course. Want to know a crazy one that I love? The Repo Guys. I don't even know if that's the right name. And the little girl beauty pageant queens and sometimes Tori and Dean and oh my word have you seen Hoarders? I think I've said enough.

8. How would you classify your home decorating style (modern, classic, french country)?
Eclectic. Fairly traditional with a few touches of really old or really new in there.

9. Pizza- deep dish or thin crust? White sauce or red sauce? What toppings?
THIN! With red sauce and just cheese. Or pepperoni if you MUST have another topping.

10. Favorite weekend getaway within a two hour driving radius?
Yawn. I'm boring. The beach.

Dazed and Confused

I hope and pray that all of you mommies out there had a wonderful Mother's Day.

I hope that your people remembered to treat you well and thank you for the awesome job I KNOW you do.

I hope you got a few moments peace. A few.

The men-folk in my house pulled off a nice day...
Breakfast and lunch made by someone other then me and a new TV... to replace the one in the bedroom... that the pilgrims brought with them on the Mayflower.

I've had my eyes on a new TV and my money saved for a while now. I just get very sweaty and nervous when it actually comes time to SPEND the money.
That was Dan/Daddy's gift to me... the ability to walk in and drop all the moolah without any hesitation.

The boy was kind and sweet and promised to crawl in my bed every morning to turn my channels on my new TV from the Today Show to SpongeBob.

For just a few hours, they tried to show their appreciation, and they succeeded.
I obviously have a Mother's Day hangover.
I woke up this morning and remembered 2 very important things that I'd "signed up" to do. Two things that I'd TOTALLY forgotten about.
I had to cancel plans with my pal.
At one point in the afternoon madness, I put the water pitcher (which lives in the fridge) in the PANTRY. At least it wasn't the milk.

I must be confused and disoriented from the un-natural behavior of my husband and son yesterday.
Maybe it's a good thing that every day isn't Mother's Day.

The Book I'll Never Write

I really really really really am not making this up.
Really.

I keep saying I'm gonna write a book one day. If I ever get around to it, this story will be in there...

Here on Planet Army Base, we have to drive through gates to get home or to go out into the real world. It's not a big deal... You just can't transport lots of weapons or terrorists.

There are times when the lines are long. VERY long. A dose of patience is necessary. It's important to protect our bases and the soldiers who call them "home."

The gate guards are usually friendly, too. They always say "hello" or "have a good day." They occasionally ask how you're doing.

This week, I had the privilege of learning a new phrase from one of the gate guards.

And. Oh. My. I plan on using it.

He said, "Hello there!"

I said, "Hello to you. How are you today?"

He said, "I am doing all right. How are you?"

I said, "Oh... I am hanging in there."

And HE said, "Like a hair in a biscuit."

I promise. That's what he said. "Like a hair in a biscuit."

I was disgusted and happy all at the same time.
The thought of a hair hanging in my biscuit is yucky. But the idea of being able to use that lovely phrase myself?!?

I can hardly wait for someone to tell me that they are "hanging in there."

I wonder if I need to be wearing my shirt from the Cracker Barrel when I say it?

Teacher Appreciation

The strep test results finally posted, and I was right. (I love saying those 3 little words.)
A full 48 hours after we saw the doctor, we have confirmation of strep. Hello 1972.

Thankfully, the doctor suspected an infection and we started the antibiotic on Monday. The boy is LOTS better, and I sent his bee-hiney back to school.

This is the conversation we had yesterday while sitting at the table.
I was paying bills and balancing my checkbook. (Does ANYone else still do that besides me?)
The boy was doing his homework... 3 days worth... and talking non-stop.

I like to call this...

"Reason #8564 I Don't Homeschool" or "He's Like a Monkey on Crack"

Me: "You have GOT to be quiet. I don't know how you do your homework with all that jabbering."

The boy: "I don't know how you work without talking."

PS... It IS Teacher Appreciation Week. And I REALLY appreciate my son's.
Go hug a teacher today! Or better yet, take her/him some lunch. Or a cup of coffee. If I could, I would send the boy's teacher on a cruise. She deserves it.

Waiting on a Strep Test With 10 on Tuesday

Here on Planet Army Base, we apparently live in the Stone Age. I am still waiting on the results from yesterday's strep test on the boy.
I know, I know... There's this thing called a "Rapid Strep Test" and most of you leave the doctor's office with your results that day.
Not here, honey. I think we're waiting on a rabbit to die or something. Wait. Wasn't that a pregnancy test from 1940?

So, NO. No one is pregnant, but someone may or may not have strep.

While we wait....


Here's Tuesday's 10 Questions... from Chelsea at Roots and Rings.

1. Do you prefer markers, crayons, or colored pencils?
Markers are my favorites, but I love all things related to "school supplies." I was one of those nerdy kids who got excited about new pencils and notebooks. Especially markers and crayons. I still AM one of those kids.

2. As a child, how did your parents celebrate your birthday? (Parties, cake, you pick the dinner, etc.)
When we were very young, it was a birthday cake at home with grandparents. (I still remember loving the smell of the grown-ups' coffee brewing.) Later, we could have any kind of party we wanted. Sleepover, skating trip, movie night... Now that I am a mommy, I have much more respect for the level of tolerance my parents had. Or maybe they were drinking.

3. How do you feel about leggings?
I feel that they are adorable. On anyone with skinny legs and tiny behinds.

4. How do you prefer to follow directions? With a map? Words?
Interesting question. I prefer the word kind. Especially the words that say, "Go right at the mall, turn left at the Krispy Kreme, stop where you can see the red barn, turn left at the house that some fool painted pink." I am Southern, after all.

5. What do you eat for snack?
Whatever I can find. My favorite is cheese and crackers.

6. Have you ever ordered anything from an infomercial or bought any As Seen on TV products?
I'm certain I've never ordered anything directly from TV, but I think I may own an item or two that are "As Seen on TV."

7. What’s your favorite thing about summer?
No school for the boy equals more sleep for me. And the beach.

8. Do you have a tattoo? What and where is it?
Yep. It's a sea turtle on my left foot. And I know you didn't ask, but it hurt. Worse than childbirth. And that was not a fun experience.

9. Are you good at journaling?
Sadly, not anymore. I used to be. I think I became consumed with paranoia that someone might see my inner thoughts... And they are not horribly sadistic or incredibly intelligent. I get more and more private the older I get. Even if I am dead and gone, the idea of someone reading my journaling stresses me out. I would love to start again.

10. What’s your favorite way to eat a hamburger?
If it's homemade... with just mayo. If we're eating out, then I like all the fixins. Weird, I know. And I don't want it burnt. Nor do I want it mooing. Nice and done, not a hockey puck.

Don't Put Me in a Home Just Yet 'Cause My Shirt Didn't Come From Cracker Barrel

I thought I was ready for the support hose and bifocals yesterday. Until I eavesdropped on some real older ladies today.

It all began so innocently. It always does.
We were stuck at home.
The boy has a very sore throat and was running a fever, so we didn't go to church.

I do love my son, and I don't mind taking care of him when he's sick, but I was a little stir crazy by about 5:00pm. I had cabin fever, and we were both staring out the back door when we saw it.

A police car.
And then another police car.
And then another and another and another.

All pulling up onto our street!
Within just a few minutes, there were 7 cars.
And 7 officers jumping out and walking around!
On my street!

Technically, most of them were MPs... military police.

They began to stroll through our backyards and talk with some people standing around. We had no clue what was happening, and it's a good thing there was no gunfire, because we were not about to walk away from that back door.

It may have been the lack of sleep from the previous 2 nights that impaired our judgement.
(A good weekend's worth of sleep does not involve being wakened by the tapping of a child on your leg or arm or booty or whatever happens to be hanging out of the covers in the dark at the hours of 1:00 am or 4:35 am. To tell you his throat really hurts. Because I knew that already. And momma has very little patience or sympathy at 1:00 am and 4:35 am.)

Anywho...

We watched the long arm of the law stroll around the neighborhood for about an hour, until I couldn't stand it any longer.

I got on Facebook and put out my own APB...

"What's going down in our 'hood? I am a bored old lady and I need to know."

It wasn't long until I got the answer.

"Two teenagers were seen looking into parked cars and then trying to enter an empty house."

The reply came from my friend who claimed to be nosier than me.
I told her thanks and that the things I was inventing in my old-lady head were much more exciting.

Fast forward to today. This morning. The boy and I venture out of the house to visit the doctor.
(Strep test results are pending, but we'll keep you informed.)

We were sitting in the Pharmacy waiting area... again, bored... so I began to eavesdrop on the 3 little old ladies sitting behind us.

I PROMISE none of this is made up. I'm not that creative on low sleep.

(Add your own thick Southern accent.)
Little Old Lady #1: "Boy, they sure do keep it hot in here."

Little Old Lady#2: "I have to be careful what I wear, 'cause I sweat sa dang much."

Little Old Lady #3: "I got this here shirt at the Cracker Barrel."

Little Old Lady #2: "Well that's real nice, but they got some real good food. We go there when we go up to the outlets."

And that's the end of what I heard. They called us up to the pharmacy window.
I'll never know how much she paid for her shirt or who puts what in their biscuits or how they keep from getting all sweaty in the summer... because I'm sure those were the conversations that followed.

So, after the eavesdropping experience, I have a new criteria for being an old lady.
I may be getting close to 40.
I sometimes shout at teenagers to turn their music down.
I have more than a few gray hairs.
I have been known to eat at a restaurant before 5:00 pm.
And I am VERY nosey... especially standing at my window or on my porch.

But I do not own a sweat-free shirt from the Cracker Barrel.
Yet.

PS... If you DO have a cute shirt from Cracker Barrel, please don't hate me! I don't mean ANY offense at all. I'm sure they have some lovely clothes. I'll just keep my purchases to biscuits, candy, and Yankee candles.