2010

The party here last night was out of control.





Happy New Year to all my people.

(That would be friends and family and bloggy-friends... but "people" makes me seem all hip and cool. Cause I am.)

I hope and pray that your year will be blessed with love and good times.

I hope and pray to catch up on all the projects I said I would do while my husband was gone for a whole year. He's coming home in 4 months, and I have a grand total of 0 projects done.

I hope and pray to get Twinkles and Sparkles put away before Valentine's Day.

I hope and pray that for every dollar I spend, I save 10. Yeah, right.

I hope and pray that I will get to see my family more... by tele-porting myself to their homes and not doing anymore driving. A girl can dream, ok?

I hope and pray that my little boy will stop growing up. And eating so much along the way. I will not be able to afford groceries when the other consumer in this house returns to the table.

I hope and pray to be more organized, less anxious, and 20 pounds skinnier.

Now I've crossed over into absurdity.

I promise I wasn't drinking anything but a milkshake last night. At 11:40 pm. So much for that 20 pounds.

Happy 2010!

Now I Know How Mary and Joseph Felt

... except nobody here is "great with child." And they didn't drive a Jeep.

I am referring to their long and uncomfortable journey to get to "Christmas."

I have parked the family sleigh/donkey and I am NOT moving it again.

(Well. We do have the Christmas Eve service tonight.)

The boy and I have been over the river and through the woods and on the interstate and in the car and in the fast food joints and in the gas station bathrooms and listening to Christmas music on the radio since last week.

I think if I had to look at the highway stretching out in front of me for one more second... I might do something not nice. Or say something not nice at all.

And I really don't think I could listen to Mariah Carey sing about all she wants for Christmas ONE. MORE. TIME. Really, Mariah. All I want for Christmas is for that song to never be played again.

There was a purpose to our traveling madness.
We visited Dan's family in Florida for Christmas, and a good time was had by all. We opened too many gifts and ate too many sweets, and the boy had a grand time playing with Dan's cousin. I know there is a camera around here somewhere with all the photographic evidence. I just have to find it. Preferably before tomorrow.

We also made a quick stop to stay a night in Atlanta with my brother, sis-in-law, and nephew.

Now, we are home, and I am determined to stay in my PJ's and in my house for the next 48 hours. Until we hit the road again to see my family.

(I probably WILL get out of my PJ's for that chapel service. They would appreciate it if I showered.)

So until then, my schedule is packed. I have a few movies to watch and some random gifts to wrap and a nap to take. I haven't blogged in so long that I just realized I haven't even posted my birthday festivities pictures.

Where does the time go? Where did 2009 go? Now I sound like a granny.

By the way, Twinkles and Sparkles (or Adam and Gaga) are together at last. They have been lighting up the front yard the whole time we've been gone.

Merry Christmas Eve.

A Tale of Two Deer

It all started innocently enough. It always does.

The boy wanted more Christmas lights in the yard. "More" meaning brighter and tackier and flashier.

It doesn't help that we live in a neighborhood that would make Clark Griswold tear up and cry with jealousy. These people have some serious holiday lighting going on.
I don't know how they pay their power bills.

It makes our tasteful garland and tiny trees look just, well... downright scrooge-ish.

So in hopes of not disappointing the boy whose dad is 9000 miles away at the holidays and who deserves the bestest Christmas ever... (Can you tell I replay that over and over and over in my mind 85 times a day?)

We needed to buy more lights.

And reindeer.

You see... our good friends have an adorable little reindeer. He lights up and looks so sweet in the front yard. I start thinking,
"I can have a sweet little reindeer on my front lawn too!"

So I loaded up my single-mommy guilt and the boy and we headed out to tackify the yard.

First stop was the K. Where my friend purchased her reindeer. Where I promptly returned almost everything we picked out. Did you know that the "K" is much more expensive than the "W"? I had heard the rumors, but I rarely shop there. So... into the return line went our overpriced holiday decor.

(I will not even begin to discuss the "T" store. It is in a league all its own.)

And on to the big "W" I went. They had (almost) the exact same reindeer for $10 less.

So we bought two.

A boy and a girl. Or, a buck and a doe.

When we got home and unloaded our loot, we immediately sat down in the floor to put our little LED friends together.

I give you... the girl deer...



After putting her together, we made an unfortunate discovery.

Our little buck had no head.

He had a body, he had glittery antlers, he had a cute little tail.

He even lit up.

With no head.

It was just wrong.
So... Back into the box we crammed him. Back to the "W" he went.

The day I returned/exchanged him also happened to be my birthday. While others lounge at the spa or jet off to Paris for their birthday, I stand in line at the Mart and return a headless deer. Speaks volumes, don't ya think?

My deer-owning friend called me to wish me a happy birthday, and I told her what I was doing. She told me that HER deer was also experiencing technical difficulties. It's head wasn't lighting up anymore. Goodness. It's not a good year to be a plastic light-up Christmas deer.

So I suggested our deer get should get together, and that sparked another not-entirely appropriate conversation about Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga.

So now we have a new buck. He will be joining his doe as soon as we can get him put together.



And don't feel too sad for me... I had a GREAT birthday. There were phone calls and gifts and 2 meals out and cake... and more of that later. Everone should go to the Mart on their birthday. It'll keep you humble.

And I will post pictures of our holiday grandeur very soon.

As for the deer? The boy wants to name them Twinkles and Sparkles. I'm thinking Adam and Gaga.

Starting the Holiday Season... Take 2

If you are a friend of mine, or if you are a faithful blog reader, you know I didn't have the best "kick off" to "HOLIDAYS 2009." It all started with a cel phone in the washing machine and a 3 hour mini-vacation/come-to-Jesus meeting/why in the hoo-nanny do they do all this construction?/dead stop on I-85. NOT good times.

I am happy to report that (once we got there), things improved.

We had a nice Thanksgiving Day...



Turkey was consumed.



Football was played.



Cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents were visited.









Everyone (and I mean everyone!) got to chat with their favorite soldier... who called right before lunch. We passed the phone around, said the blessing, and then ate like piggies. After lunch, Uncle Tom tortured (drove) the boy and his cousin, Jacob. He took them over to see the stadium where the game was gonna be played the next day. Uncle Tom is an Auburn fan, and the two boys are Alabama fans, and they all had a great time harassing each other.

Then, it was time to hit the road (Lord save me) again.

On to South Carolina to celebrate with my family...

It is a much smaller crowd, but no less chaotic.


There was wild wrestling and running around.









There was also lots of eating... just not turkey. We all went to one of our favorite Italian restaurants... and ate like piggies.









The boy was able to tromp around the farm, do a little hunting, watch Alabama BARELY win the Iron Bowl, spend time with his grandparents, and run around the house with his cousin, Noah, like a wild banshee. (What is that, anyway?)

I hit the Black Friday sales with my sis-in-law and brother. The only grumpy/pushy person we encountered all day was my own brother. He actually didn't get that way until Hobby Lobby. He said we were "taking too long" and that he wouldn't have felt that way if it weren't the "THIRD CRAFT STORE OF THE DAY." (Emphasis his.)

There is no such thing as too many craft stores in one day. Especially not when ribbon is 70% off. What does he know?

Now we are home and deep in the trenches of hauling out the holly. The Christmas craziness has begun. I think there are about 43 different events this weekend alone.

But I have enough ribbon.

How NOT to Start Your Holiday Season

Washing machine...



+
Laundry detergent...



+

1 Cel Phone... tucked away in the pocket of the jeans you want to go on your trip...




=
A trip to this place... Just hours before you should be leaving for the Thanksgiving holiday...




In case you were wondering:

1. Cel phones are not washable.

2. No. It wasn't time for the upgrade.

3. Yes. I did have the insurance. (Please, this is ME we're talking about here.)

4. I realized it when I opened the lid to take the clothes and toss them in the dryer.

5. No, I didn't put it in the dryer.

6. I am beginning to laugh about it now. 6 days later. Beginning.

Merry Thanks-Scarecrow-Turkey-Mas

I totally made that up, but I think it fits.

You see, there is a scarecrow sticking from a hay bale on my front porch. There's a pretty Fall-ish wreath on the door. There's a puknin out there too.

The Christmas CDs are out. The candles on the table are orange. There are some festive gourds in the fruit basket.

Giant Rubbermaid tubs sit half-opened by the garage door.

Thanksgiving is still 3 days away.

I haven't packed a single thing.

And the Christmas tree is up.

I'm having some holiday confusion and anxiety.

I always feel sad that our Christmas decorations go up, and then we go a-traveling. And I don't get to see them very much. So this year, the tree went up early.

I'm trying to convince the boy that we need to wait to put out EVERYTHING else.

'Cause when you go out of town for Thanksgiving and you are the owners of a particularly bad-mannered and devious cat... well...

Let's just say the wise men and nutcrackers deserve better.

She's already yanked some poor little snowman off the tree 895,629 times. By his raggedy little scarf. And the tree's only been up 48 hours.

Here's hoping your turkey fixins are ready and that you bought enough food.

I was at The Mart this morning, and it wasn't pretty.

God bless us, every one. Especially snowman ornaments.

In the Elementary School 'Hood

We ran some errands after school today.

A haircut for the boy.

A caffeine shot for me.

A stop at the post office.

The. Longest. Lines. Ever. (Not just today. Every day.)


One post office on base + a zillion people mailing packages to a zillion deployed soldiers + renovation and construction at said post office = HEADACHE.

Anywho... while we were there, we saw a teacher from the boy's school. She needed help with a HUGE box because she's pregnant. I lifted her box for her, and trust me. She would have popped that baby out right there if she'd lifted it.

So when we get back in the car, 57 hours later, I say to the boy,

"I didn't know Ms. Teacher was pregnant."

He says, "I did."

I say, "How did you know?"

He says, "My friend told me. She knew. She probably heard it from so-and-so who told it to so-and-so."

I say (laughing), "Ya'll are nosy." (Which is SO true of my son.)

He says, "That's the way 4th Graders roll."

Word to my home dog 9 and 10 year-olds.